Thursday, January 24, 2008

meanderings of my thought life insightful as they are...

I honestly had no plan when I opened up this post, I just felt like writing. In all likelihood this will turn out to be some random post that nobody reads which is fine. Just thinking... about life... about the absurdity of it all. How it seems like our world is going to hell and there isn't a lot we can do about it. I feel so out of touch with God. I haven't really talked to him in awhile. I know I should but there doesn't seem to be much point, even when I did try and connect with Him on a regular basis it didn't make much difference. Or at least it didn't seem to... Call me a pessimist but its what I do best. That and sarcasm... I'm good at that too.
I don't know, maybe all this "future" talk is getting me depressed and philisophical. People dying, people going to rehab, people getting drunk to distract themselves from this pathetic thing we call reality. Quite frankly I don't envy them. I wish I was some wacko psych patient so I could pretend none of this exists and my fantasy land where I'm a queen over the Pygmies is whats actually happening. Who knows, maybe this whole life is just a dream and we're merely players doing what our marionet strings tell us to do. *smile* now I'm just waxing poetical philisophy. If thats a viable expression which it probably isn't. I'm really not this thoughtful and deep in real life I can just pull a good impressionistic act. Well I'm gonna go do something meaningless and contemplate why...

Caitie

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