Friday, December 26, 2008

deliberate stupidity

It comes naturally ;)

Its about 2 hours before I'm supposed to be bright eyed and bushy tailed to go to the airport and I'm sitting at home watching Sixteen Candles and we just finished The Breakfast Club.
I mean, don't get me wrong they're good movies but I should be sleeping lol...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz whoops! fell asleep on the z key ;)

night everyone. well, its morning for me lol. but have a fabulous New Years!!! Talk to y'all later!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

quick note

So I know both of you, not that well but I can list vital stats and random facts/quotes.

but listening to what you're saying, It reminds me of me!
I was there! haha, a little while ago those were my emotions and worries.
Unfortunately they never really went away lol. I still feel them from time to time but in essence I've moved on because I realized it would take awhile for us to work together so its easier to go our separate ways and if we're meant to be together, God will bring us back together.

but i know how it feels to think you're not good enough to be the only girl. you get mad and make your mind up not to let him in anymore because it hurts too much. And then he shows up, he cares and he wants to be with you and talk to you and you forget about everything else... its a vicious circle lol.
Don't get me wrong! He is a great guy, we have our arguments and I call him names and he calls me impossible and we pretty much hate each other for awhile but he's still one of my favourite people to talk to and he knows how to be a gentleman sometimes. But I have no advice for either of you. Why? Because I never got my fairy tale ending. we never did make it work. Maybe it'll happen someday but there's always been someone else in the way for one of us when the other is ready.
Man, I wish he talked about me the way he talks about you though. He writes these long drawn out descriptions and he loves talking about you. Usually when he talks about me, he says he prefers me to the really annoying girls out there because he trusts me and he knows I'm annoying but I still love him. but you? He talks about you like you're the only girl he's ever thought about. I can hear the emotion and feeling behind it. and I'm not gonna lie, it makes me jealous. But I know my time will come with him or with someone else who is the one.
So trust me, if he isn't the one, there's someone out there who is, and you will be the only girl for him and he will love you until doomsday. He is not the only boy out there, there's lots lol. He's addicting (I know :P) and hard to get over, but if he's not the one, you'll be able to move on eventually.


p.s. the funny part is i don't think either girl will read this. but thats okay. I just figured life's too short not to say what you mean.

expressions of gratitude

well through all the drama going on around me I have realized that I was missing gratitude. People were just getting pissed off and forgetting all the wonderful memories and tough times that they weathered together. So I've decided to compile this list of people I'm thanking, for their love, support and awesomeness. Woot, lets get started (this could be extensive):

-the parents lol, you guys love me and inspire me and put up with me despite the fact that I am quite an annoying child.

-the sister, i love you, I antagonize you, I would kill you sometimes, but I'd kill for you all the time.

-Ynagem, frigging love you! and miss you! you are the most wonderful friend ever, we wasted waaaay too much time on transit looking for the train lady and making up parallel universes. I love you!

-Jess, you are my sunshine :) you make me happy all the time and don't you dare go away again!

-youth group, you guys are a rock. Always there, always care, always fun, always a blast. <3

-church, inspiring, loving, affectionate, entertaining, thought provoking, interesting, weird, accurate, God-centred, wonderful place to be.

-father of wisdom, been awhile since you used that eh? thank you for always giving me another chance even when you REALLY don't want to. You help me put things into perspective and you've been close for a long time.

-work people, you guys are wacked lol. I've learned lots from you guys, most of it I didn't want to know in the first place ;) but work was my haven where I could get away from everything and devote all my attention to something else.

-other bloggers, you inspire me, make me smarter, challenge me to stay more informed, tell me things I never would've found out on my own, bring to light things that don't always get brought to light, entertain me, fill me with new ideas, words, quotes and ridiculous anecdotes.

-greg, you're so much fun to talk to and you always know what to say to help me put stuff in the big picture

-jade, I love you babe. we've known each other longer than we haven't known each other (if that makes sense lol) you know how to make me feel better and make me laugh

-relatives, you love me just for existing (how often do you find that?) and you've always got my back no matter who is wrong lol.

so yeah... thats all I could think of for the moment... *whistles and looks at a loss for words* there you have it I guess.
If you feel I have overlooked you leave a comment! lol I will attempt to rectify the gaffe.


the way I loved you

I miss screamin and fightin
and kissin in the rain
its 2am and I'm cursin your name

holy emotional involvement batman!

Well I knew I was missing pieces but this is looking like the whole damn puzzle LOL
sure sad I missed all those dramatic moments (not).
I don't envy you or any of the other people you were talking about I really don't, you got WAY too much going on in that arena.
Lemme just say that I'm glad I threw my hat into the ring and then took it out what? Like almost 3 years ago? Now its in limbo lol
Anywho, good luck with all of them. I'll just be watching from the sidelines. If you ever get so frustrated you need to scream; call me. You usually feel better when you can just yell and you know someone is listening but not judging.
well I need sleep cuz it took awhile to find that and I'm tired now lol

P.S. My stuff is cleared up, I explained it all. So you should take it off so the others don't have as much to worry about lol

Monday, December 22, 2008

Its the most wonderful time of the year...

Minus crowded malls full of men and women with very scary glints in their eyes as they scramble to finish last minute shopping.
Minus insane traffic mostly comprised of idiots who drive as if they've never seen snow before.
Minus 35 below degree weather that makes me think its impossible for there to be any place in the world right now that you can actually go outside without a snow suit on and not have all your extremities immediately fall off.

As hardened and bitter as I sound I really do sincerely love Christmas. Not the materialistic side of it (cuz thats lame) but I love chillin (literally) with my family and friends, singing Christmas carols with worship leaders who hate them (haha love you Darren), eating (way too much) Christmas food/cookies, talking a walk outside when its snowing and quiet and feeling the magic and going to bed seeing the apcalyptically-red looking sky (from lights reflecting off the snow) and knowing that God is watching over all of us.

I finished my Christmas shopping today (finally *slumps with relief) and also did some shopping for Costa Rica clothing (light, not warmth inducing, not fancy) that I can do labour and get dirty in. And drank two $4 coffees which is really weird for me cuz I don't drink coffee normally lol. But it was fun, I'm actually getting REALLY excited for Costa Rica. I've been waiting for so long (nearly 2 years) for it to happen and now it really is coming together!
I'm so excited to build a community centre (though I don't imagine any of the men/teenage boys are actually going to let me do anything labour intensive lol) and doing children's ministry and really showing people the love of Christ. This is going to a be paradigm/life changing experience :) I'm pleased.

We're going to do a drama like this in Costa Rica.
I usually play the main girl and let me tell you, most people cry when they see it. I'm not even kidding, I don't cry easily so i don't, but a lot of people do because the emotion is so raw. I am so thrilled to see what God is going to do on this trip.

Pray for me and the team and the people we're going to help!!!

Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Mixdddd emoticons

WOOT DANCE SHOW WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was fabulous, everybody else was fabulous, the audience was fabulous. EVERYTHING WAS FABULOUS!

I'm happy its over because now I can focus on other stuff lol.
But I'm also sad its over because I don't get to perform again for another little while. :(

OMG I love Canada but people drive like the apocalypse is forthcoming when it snows... for the love of all that is holy people...
It took my dad and I AN HOUR to drive a route that usually takes us 15 minutes.
Then I had to wait another 30 min to get a bus and I got to school an hour late... blech

But OH WELL, s'all good.

We're watching the vid of the dance show tomorrow :( I hope I didn't bomb too bad.

Thanks for being there, and not regretting anything. I appreciate it. And putting up with my crazy texts lol. <3

I gotta get some sleep... NO FRENCH TOMORROW!!!! I GET TO SLEEP IN!!!! *happy dance*

hahaha talk to y'all later!

Sunday, December 14, 2008


Yikes! I've had such a busy weekend! And this is going to be a super busy week! And the busyness isn't going to go away until after exams! *runs around like a chicken with its head cut off*

Phew okay. Insanity moment done lol

SO this weekend was fun, we got a freaking BLIZZARD! Love Canada... But anywho, i went babysitting which was fun! 5 kids and me lol, but I enjoyed myself and was paid really well too :D
Then I went to the youth sleepover which was awesome! Me + 3 fell asleep in the hallway with a couple sleeping bags (we had to share cuz there wasn't enough lol) while watching Never Back Down. Unfortunately the laptop battery ran out so we only watched the first half lol.
Plus we only got about 45 minutes of sleep... that was awesome :)
Then I went babysitting again on Saturday (fun!) and they have the most adorable baby ever. Seriously this kid is so friendly! She's very physically affectionate, always wanted to be held to to be touching me or her brothers. It was interesting.

And a Costa Rica meeting today, I'M GETTING SO EXCITED!!!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

plague, pestilence and locusts

I am so sick right now its embarrassing, I think I'm leaking cerebrospinal fluid right now thats how runny my nose is its ridiculous.

I watched Wanted, such a good movie! Gory and way too much profanity but cool concept and very pretty guns.

So yeah, this is a totally stellar time to miss school because exams are coming up at the end of the break, I'm missing important lessons, I have the Christmas concert tomorrow for school, the dance show is next week, I have done almost no Christmas shopping and Costa Rica is coming soon lol.
Oh well, I can handle it *smile* I'm awesome!!!

Iggy's the Liberal leader now... Well thats cool, at least he speaks English. Thats a step up from Dion. Although I was rather enjoying the ineffectual Liberal leadership, gave me something to giggle at when I read the news.

Monday, December 08, 2008

HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!

I stabbed my finger with a serrated kitchen knife an hour ago and when I open the cut a little I can see squishy pink stuff!!!!!!
Its soooooooooooo cool!

Saturday, December 06, 2008

bye bye my pretty restaurant :(

So I had to take a "leave of absence" from my job because my grades aren't good enough right now :'(
It made me sad.
But I will go back in February if they'll still have me.

Darn it still trying to figure out what I want for the future!!! I want to do international studies, but I also want to act, and I am freaking loving biology right now so I could do nursing or doctoring or something like that... Its difficult. On top of scholarship stuffs and costa rica and christmas (still haven't done any shopping) and grad committee and choir and trying not to go insane!!!!

Man I'll be glad when I'm done school and I can just chill out and work for a year :D

Not to mention for those of you who've been living under a sound-proof rock for the past week. THE COMMUNISTS AND THE SEPARATISTS ARE TRYING TO OVERTHROW THE FASCISTS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I did not see that one coming. Then again my foresight blows, think it was the head injury a few years back ;)
So yeah, makes for interesting conversations with my social teacher lol.