Friday, December 26, 2008

deliberate stupidity

It comes naturally ;)

Its about 2 hours before I'm supposed to be bright eyed and bushy tailed to go to the airport and I'm sitting at home watching Sixteen Candles and we just finished The Breakfast Club.
I mean, don't get me wrong they're good movies but I should be sleeping lol...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz whoops! fell asleep on the z key ;)

night everyone. well, its morning for me lol. but have a fabulous New Years!!! Talk to y'all later!
Zhen

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

quick note

So I know both of you, not that well but I can list vital stats and random facts/quotes.

but listening to what you're saying, It reminds me of me!
I was there! haha, a little while ago those were my emotions and worries.
Unfortunately they never really went away lol. I still feel them from time to time but in essence I've moved on because I realized it would take awhile for us to work together so its easier to go our separate ways and if we're meant to be together, God will bring us back together.

but i know how it feels to think you're not good enough to be the only girl. you get mad and make your mind up not to let him in anymore because it hurts too much. And then he shows up, he cares and he wants to be with you and talk to you and you forget about everything else... its a vicious circle lol.
Don't get me wrong! He is a great guy, we have our arguments and I call him names and he calls me impossible and we pretty much hate each other for awhile but he's still one of my favourite people to talk to and he knows how to be a gentleman sometimes. But I have no advice for either of you. Why? Because I never got my fairy tale ending. we never did make it work. Maybe it'll happen someday but there's always been someone else in the way for one of us when the other is ready.
Man, I wish he talked about me the way he talks about you though. He writes these long drawn out descriptions and he loves talking about you. Usually when he talks about me, he says he prefers me to the really annoying girls out there because he trusts me and he knows I'm annoying but I still love him. but you? He talks about you like you're the only girl he's ever thought about. I can hear the emotion and feeling behind it. and I'm not gonna lie, it makes me jealous. But I know my time will come with him or with someone else who is the one.
So trust me, if he isn't the one, there's someone out there who is, and you will be the only girl for him and he will love you until doomsday. He is not the only boy out there, there's lots lol. He's addicting (I know :P) and hard to get over, but if he's not the one, you'll be able to move on eventually.

Zhen

p.s. the funny part is i don't think either girl will read this. but thats okay. I just figured life's too short not to say what you mean.

expressions of gratitude

well through all the drama going on around me I have realized that I was missing gratitude. People were just getting pissed off and forgetting all the wonderful memories and tough times that they weathered together. So I've decided to compile this list of people I'm thanking, for their love, support and awesomeness. Woot, lets get started (this could be extensive):

-the parents lol, you guys love me and inspire me and put up with me despite the fact that I am quite an annoying child.

-the sister, i love you, I antagonize you, I would kill you sometimes, but I'd kill for you all the time.

-Ynagem, frigging love you! and miss you! you are the most wonderful friend ever, we wasted waaaay too much time on transit looking for the train lady and making up parallel universes. I love you!

-Jess, you are my sunshine :) you make me happy all the time and don't you dare go away again!

-youth group, you guys are a rock. Always there, always care, always fun, always a blast. <3

-church, inspiring, loving, affectionate, entertaining, thought provoking, interesting, weird, accurate, God-centred, wonderful place to be.

-father of wisdom, been awhile since you used that eh? thank you for always giving me another chance even when you REALLY don't want to. You help me put things into perspective and you've been close for a long time.

-work people, you guys are wacked lol. I've learned lots from you guys, most of it I didn't want to know in the first place ;) but work was my haven where I could get away from everything and devote all my attention to something else.

-other bloggers, you inspire me, make me smarter, challenge me to stay more informed, tell me things I never would've found out on my own, bring to light things that don't always get brought to light, entertain me, fill me with new ideas, words, quotes and ridiculous anecdotes.

-greg, you're so much fun to talk to and you always know what to say to help me put stuff in the big picture

-jade, I love you babe. we've known each other longer than we haven't known each other (if that makes sense lol) you know how to make me feel better and make me laugh

-relatives, you love me just for existing (how often do you find that?) and you've always got my back no matter who is wrong lol.

so yeah... thats all I could think of for the moment... *whistles and looks at a loss for words* there you have it I guess.
If you feel I have overlooked you leave a comment! lol I will attempt to rectify the gaffe.

Zhen

the way I loved you

I miss screamin and fightin
and kissin in the rain
its 2am and I'm cursin your name

holy emotional involvement batman!

Well I knew I was missing pieces but this is looking like the whole damn puzzle LOL
sure sad I missed all those dramatic moments (not).
I don't envy you or any of the other people you were talking about I really don't, you got WAY too much going on in that arena.
Lemme just say that I'm glad I threw my hat into the ring and then took it out what? Like almost 3 years ago? Now its in limbo lol
Anywho, good luck with all of them. I'll just be watching from the sidelines. If you ever get so frustrated you need to scream; call me. You usually feel better when you can just yell and you know someone is listening but not judging.
well I need sleep cuz it took awhile to find that and I'm tired now lol
ttyl
Zhen

P.S. My stuff is cleared up, I explained it all. So you should take it off so the others don't have as much to worry about lol

Monday, December 22, 2008

Its the most wonderful time of the year...

Minus crowded malls full of men and women with very scary glints in their eyes as they scramble to finish last minute shopping.
Minus insane traffic mostly comprised of idiots who drive as if they've never seen snow before.
Minus 35 below degree weather that makes me think its impossible for there to be any place in the world right now that you can actually go outside without a snow suit on and not have all your extremities immediately fall off.

As hardened and bitter as I sound I really do sincerely love Christmas. Not the materialistic side of it (cuz thats lame) but I love chillin (literally) with my family and friends, singing Christmas carols with worship leaders who hate them (haha love you Darren), eating (way too much) Christmas food/cookies, talking a walk outside when its snowing and quiet and feeling the magic and going to bed seeing the apcalyptically-red looking sky (from lights reflecting off the snow) and knowing that God is watching over all of us.

I finished my Christmas shopping today (finally *slumps with relief) and also did some shopping for Costa Rica clothing (light, not warmth inducing, not fancy) that I can do labour and get dirty in. And drank two $4 coffees which is really weird for me cuz I don't drink coffee normally lol. But it was fun, I'm actually getting REALLY excited for Costa Rica. I've been waiting for so long (nearly 2 years) for it to happen and now it really is coming together!
I'm so excited to build a community centre (though I don't imagine any of the men/teenage boys are actually going to let me do anything labour intensive lol) and doing children's ministry and really showing people the love of Christ. This is going to a be paradigm/life changing experience :) I'm pleased.

We're going to do a drama like this in Costa Rica.
I usually play the main girl and let me tell you, most people cry when they see it. I'm not even kidding, I don't cry easily so i don't, but a lot of people do because the emotion is so raw. I am so thrilled to see what God is going to do on this trip.

Pray for me and the team and the people we're going to help!!!

Merry Christmas!
Zhen

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Mixdddd emoticons

WOOT DANCE SHOW WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was fabulous, everybody else was fabulous, the audience was fabulous. EVERYTHING WAS FABULOUS!

I'm happy its over because now I can focus on other stuff lol.
But I'm also sad its over because I don't get to perform again for another little while. :(

OMG I love Canada but people drive like the apocalypse is forthcoming when it snows... for the love of all that is holy people...
It took my dad and I AN HOUR to drive a route that usually takes us 15 minutes.
Then I had to wait another 30 min to get a bus and I got to school an hour late... blech

But OH WELL, s'all good.

We're watching the vid of the dance show tomorrow :( I hope I didn't bomb too bad.

Thanks for being there, and not regretting anything. I appreciate it. And putting up with my crazy texts lol. <3

I gotta get some sleep... NO FRENCH TOMORROW!!!! I GET TO SLEEP IN!!!! *happy dance*

hahaha talk to y'all later!
Zhen

Sunday, December 14, 2008

CRAZINESS!!!!!!!!!!!

Yikes! I've had such a busy weekend! And this is going to be a super busy week! And the busyness isn't going to go away until after exams! *runs around like a chicken with its head cut off*

Phew okay. Insanity moment done lol

SO this weekend was fun, we got a freaking BLIZZARD! Love Canada... But anywho, i went babysitting which was fun! 5 kids and me lol, but I enjoyed myself and was paid really well too :D
Then I went to the youth sleepover which was awesome! Me + 3 fell asleep in the hallway with a couple sleeping bags (we had to share cuz there wasn't enough lol) while watching Never Back Down. Unfortunately the laptop battery ran out so we only watched the first half lol.
Plus we only got about 45 minutes of sleep... that was awesome :)
Then I went babysitting again on Saturday (fun!) and they have the most adorable baby ever. Seriously this kid is so friendly! She's very physically affectionate, always wanted to be held to to be touching me or her brothers. It was interesting.

And a Costa Rica meeting today, I'M GETTING SO EXCITED!!!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

plague, pestilence and locusts

I am so sick right now its embarrassing, I think I'm leaking cerebrospinal fluid right now thats how runny my nose is its ridiculous.

I watched Wanted, such a good movie! Gory and way too much profanity but cool concept and very pretty guns.

So yeah, this is a totally stellar time to miss school because exams are coming up at the end of the break, I'm missing important lessons, I have the Christmas concert tomorrow for school, the dance show is next week, I have done almost no Christmas shopping and Costa Rica is coming soon lol.
Oh well, I can handle it *smile* I'm awesome!!!

Iggy's the Liberal leader now... Well thats cool, at least he speaks English. Thats a step up from Dion. Although I was rather enjoying the ineffectual Liberal leadership, gave me something to giggle at when I read the news.

Monday, December 08, 2008

HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!

I stabbed my finger with a serrated kitchen knife an hour ago and when I open the cut a little I can see squishy pink stuff!!!!!!
Its soooooooooooo cool!

Saturday, December 06, 2008

bye bye my pretty restaurant :(

So I had to take a "leave of absence" from my job because my grades aren't good enough right now :'(
It made me sad.
But I will go back in February if they'll still have me.

Darn it still trying to figure out what I want for the future!!! I want to do international studies, but I also want to act, and I am freaking loving biology right now so I could do nursing or doctoring or something like that... Its difficult. On top of scholarship stuffs and costa rica and christmas (still haven't done any shopping) and grad committee and choir and trying not to go insane!!!!

Man I'll be glad when I'm done school and I can just chill out and work for a year :D

Not to mention for those of you who've been living under a sound-proof rock for the past week. THE COMMUNISTS AND THE SEPARATISTS ARE TRYING TO OVERTHROW THE FASCISTS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I did not see that one coming. Then again my foresight blows, think it was the head injury a few years back ;)
So yeah, makes for interesting conversations with my social teacher lol.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Best Ad EVER

I am not a big fan of ads, I'm really not (we don't have cable in my house) but this is probly one of my favourite ads

NDP/Liberal/Bloc Quebecois

This is quite possibly my favourite post on SDA so far. Absolutely hilarious.

New Libloq
The Progressive Pork Party
The USSR - Union of Separatists and Socialists against the Right
New Libs on the Bloc
The Raucas Porkas Caucus
Bloc Torontois

"The Treasonists... The Terminally Stupid party... The Pathological Self Preservationists... The Can You Repeat the Question Again Party... The Peoples Temple of Trudeauvia Party... The F##K Democracy Party... The Entitled to their Entitlements Party... The Canada Schmanada Party... The Don't Vote For Me, and We'll Seize Power Anyhow Party... The Naturally Governing Seperatist Party... The Clarity Act Seperatist Alliance... The New, New France Party... The Nationalist Socialist, Seperatist Alliance... The Gerard Kennedy Just Won't Shut the Hell Up Party... The MSM Party... The Coup D'Etat Party... The We're Not American Party... Sorry, I could go on, but won't."

the link has more of the awesomeness.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Rubber Chickens and Sledge Hammers and Grad Pics!

Okay so has anyone here had a cavity filled lately? Well if you haven't I'll just fill you in, first they inject the anaesthetic which believe me hurts like hell. Then they put this weird rubber thing over your mouth. You know on doctor shows when they show surgeries and there's a blue cloth covering everything but where the doctors are working? Yeah. I had a smaller purple version of that put over the lower half of my face. By then of course I feel like my cheek is a rubber chicken and its a pretty odd sensation trust me. Then they use this little whirring instrument that sounds like R2D2 to "clean the area" and then another one that sounds like a jack hammer to "prepare the area". Then they put a whole but of weird pasty things on it and shined a blue light on them every once in awhile mostly cuz it looks cool I'm guessing.
So yeah once they finished I couldn't move my mouth or speak without sounding and looking like a drooling idiot. It was very attractive I assure you.

My friend gets paid to wield a sledge hammer. I'm so friggin jealous.

WOOOOOOOOOOT Grad photos soon!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Gotta get my hair cut... :(

Saturday, November 22, 2008

my new alter ego

I've decided to start moonlighting as the virginal monkey...
which is way cooler than the cancerous rat for thsoe playin the home game.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Its getting a little twilife zoney

Somali pirates are taking over the freaking world!
<3 it... I wish I was cool enough to be a Somali pirate... seriously, imagine putting that on your resume. Right along with "mad ninja skills" or "can do fifteen back flips in one go"... I'd make a great circus resume fabricator...

Have you ever wondered if you are the very first person to have a particular conversation or say something? Cuz you say it and then wonder "could anyone else on the planet even have a mind that twisted? could I have been the very first person ever to say that?" Its rather depressing how often that thought enters my mind actually. Probly just cuz I'm narcissistic like that but hey, I can spell narcissistic without spell check so there's gotta be something worth being obsessed with.

So I'm taking biology 30 right now and no word of a lie, Biology 30 is just a 5 month long sex-ed class. Thats it. Thats all. Thats all all is.
I mean don't get me wrong, its interesting stuff but honestly, there's nothing left to learn about rocks or plants or anything anymore? Thats it? We just gotta study how to make babies? Yeah... its good times.

I know this is definitely not the funniest post I've done in awhile but I'm tired and my mouth hurts but HEY! I GOT FANGS OUT OF THE DEAL!!! WOOT!!!
Yeah... they're these funky little orthodontic instruments sent directly from a special circle of hell to torture poor, innocent people who had the misfortune of having crooked teeth. Basically they're these little elastics that stretch between a loop on one of the brackets on a two top teeth and two brackets on lower teeth. The cool part is; they're placed right where my incisors would be if I was a canine and not a homo sapien so when I smile I look like a vampire. Pretty handy for the creeps who stare at me on transit no?
Course then somebody takes a picture of me doing that and suddenly I'm all over those tabloids that say Elvis is the reincarnation of Jesus and why the hell hasn't the earth ended yet cuz we've been forecasting it for YEARS!?! ... yeah. Its cool to be me.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

unhand him you scabrous dogs!


Kay, I seriously cannot be the only one who sees the silliness/hilarity of this picture... I just can't. We have Dion, newly re-elected Speaker; Milliken and Harper.
I'm not entirely sure why they're practically carrying Milliken to wherever it is they're carrying him. I mean, 62 is old but he's hardly death bed ridden...

It reminds me of those fights I used to have with my sister:
-but its MY favourite toy!
-no, its always been MY favourite toy!!!
-I liked it before you did!
-Mom!

...yeah... I love politics.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

epic fail

Man, I am dense... Really dense.
I mean, I'm cute and pretty smart but I'm dense.
I forgot to not get attached, it didn't work the first... second... third... or fourth times lol. It really isn't going to work this time. I suck at listening to my own advice... Or anybody else's for that matter.

Woot work was awesome last night, I loved it! I made tips and W loves me (even though I'm weird I still keep her entertained) and K and I danced and A and the manager kept trying to undo the bow on my dress... losers.
But all in all it was a really good night, I liked it.
Plus tonight I'll see everyone again :D

Youth sleepover coming up! Yay! I don't think it will end up the same last years did... Its just a hunch. But D and R and I will find a corner to set up in, play twister and spongebob monopoly and watch movies. It'll be great >_<

So i've been looking a lot at scholarships lately and its scary stuff. I am so not ready lol...

Saturday, November 15, 2008

computer guru

Man I think I should start a television series focused on my laptop. Its really taught me a lot about life, patience being one of the virtues explored especially when I want to turn the thing off.

First it has to rid itself of all bad things and usher in the new so it makes sure I've updated all my applications and if I don't feel like doing it; it just does it for me.
Then it has to recount the hectic day of surfing/homework/banking/emailing/music&tv show playing. All that activity really takes its toll on a hard drive eh? So she needs to make sure that everything has been saved and given proper consideration. She needs a little massage about this point to relax.
Then of course she needs to get herself into a zen-like trance state where she can completely erase all other thoughts and just power down without any lingering bad thoughts or difficulties. This is a very time sensitive procedure because if she is closed before completing the sleep ritual, she can't sleep all night and is left stressed and uncooperative in the morning and nobody likes a cranky laptop right?

Yes, I really have learned from my laptop the importance of a complete power down and relaxation time before achieving a really decent night's rest...

Zhen

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

We Remember



I love Remembrance Day, the ceremony is so beautiful and respectful and somber. I know its terrible that we have such a thing that needs to be remembered but I love that it is shown such reverence by most people. There's bagpipes and beautiful poems and songs and pomp and circumstance. Yes, I am actually one of those weird people who loves traditions and proper respect paid to certain things and certain people and for things having their place. I know its rare to hear something like that from someone my age but its true.

The dude running the ceremony we saw today read the excerpt from For the Fallen by Laurence Binyon

They shall grow not old as we that are left grow old
Age shall not weary them nor the years condemn
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them
I remember singing a song based on that during the Remembrance Day Assembly at school last year, Chris and I both soloed and I remember feeling so proud that I could at least play a part in something so important as remembering the people who died so that others may live in freedom. People who fail to recognize the importance of that sacrifice are the ones who will make it happen again. As soon as we forget why we have a military and why people lay down their lives everyday to save ours, it will happen again.
The reason Canadians and Americans have the freedom of speech to denounce the military, disrespect the veterans, hold anti-war demonstrations and burn their nation's flag: is because brave men and women died to protect it. That is the most important thing.

dance=love/hate relationship

Okay so I feel good because I just got a whole shwack of choreography done, unfortunately I'm also now in a lot of pain and very sweaty and gross lol. Plus the song that I used to like no longer appeals to me because I had to listen to it 138 times in order to get the choreography down... Yeah. Its a good song though
Untouched by The Veronicas

And also some choreography for my lyrical duet to this
Run by Collective Soul
also a good song that I will eventually hate because I'll have to do it so many freaking times.

But yeah, I think I worked off the equivalent of 4 burgers and 2 sundaes with all the dancing I did today lol.

And mom and Nana are coming home today from Kelowna where they had a little break and chilled out. Did some shopping.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Blog Rrrrrroooooolll

So I've decided to list some of the blogs I read regularly. Not really for anyone's benefit but my own mostly because I'm bored lol.

Okey dokey, here goes:
Rantings of a Sandmonkey
funniest thing ever, crazy Egyptian dude who blogs about Middle Eastern/American politics and foreign affairs and other random stuff that he finds funny. Not at all your average middle eastern dude and actually eschews traditional weird stuffs that make no sense at all to the rest of us.
"Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off."

Post Secret
You've probably heard about this "movement" as of late. Frank Warren is an artist who, a few years ago asked people to write a secret that they couldn't tell anyone else on a postcard with no indication as to who they are and send it to him so he could put them into a book. This idea increased so much in popularity that he has since put out several books just full of postcards with secrets on them. Some of them are poignant, some are seemingly trivial and others serve to make people smile and they all take a burden off of the secret keeper's shoulder. Every week there are a new batch of postcards that have been posted on the blog and some have comments that people wrote about them.

The Bloggess
This is an amazingly funny lady who also writes a blog with another mom for the Houston Chronicle called Good Mom Bad Mom. My aunt actually turned me onto this blog because other than being hysterically funny, she said the writing style reminded her of me. And while I can't claim to be even half as witty or entertaining to read as The Bloggess, the tangents do sound a lot like me and if you've ever met and talked to me, you'll understand lol.

Small Dead Animals
This is probably the most informative blog I read, nothing gets past Kate. This is a widely read and respected blog talking about national issues and politics with a conservative bent (something difficult to find amidst all the Obamanians and Greenpeace wannabes). Sometimes its difficult to get through but perseverance is rewarded with information, funny quotes and a more rounded world view.

The Life of a Child
I read this because its written by a friend of mine, sometimes its weird and sometimes it doesn't make sense lol but its entertaining and he offers a lot of perspective.

Fly On
I started reading this blog after I read the books by James Patterson. This blog is either ghost written or done by Patterson himself but its from the perspective of one of the tech savvy characters in the book series. I like it because in addition to feeding my "flock" addiction, he also posts some alternative punky stuff like music or articles that I wouldn't have otherwise found. Its fun stuff.

Damn Cool Pics
I actually found this site a couple years ago and its been kept up which is pretty cool. Its basically just a whole bunch of pics and videos from this guy (or group of people) online. There isn't really a goal message or viewpoint to get across, he just finds a theme and posts a bunch of really cool pictures that he finds online in each post. Some are kinda weird like extreme body art or celebrities without makeup but some are really amazing like the village in this monstrous cave or beatiful castles in Scotland.

Well that kinda concludes my blog roll... I don't have a lot of surfing time cuz grade 12 is a little homework intensive so I don't have time but its fun and enjoy reading what other people have to say.

Zhen

Monday, October 13, 2008

Le weekend tres awesome!

So this weekend has turned out much better than I thought it would.

Friday I got pretty much no homework, went to youth (meh, potato potahto) and then slept lol.

Saturday I bought the most fabulous winter coat ever invented and went to work. Work was the most ridiculous shift I've ever worked cuz everyone was tired and punchy and we had way too much fun. And I found out I didn't have to work Sunday night.

Sunday I went to church and made plans with J and A to come over. Went home, cleaned house, went to Grandparents for thanksgiving dinner (which was A-mazing, and extraordinarily filling lol). Then J and A came over to watch Step Up 2 (3 thumbs up and plenty of new choreography to try out ;) and J and I gave A his birthday presents. Both clothes unfortunately, we really need to be more creative next year... *gasps* A is going to be 20 next year... damn he's old...

Then J and I proceeded to watch 2 more movies, halfway thru the second one I conked lol. I suck at staying up late. it was fun though, I had a really good weekend.

Plus, somewhere in that whole mix a friend and I started talking again (we haven't really talked for like a month). Which is actually kind of cool.

ANYWHO, Now I have to go work on my novel study because quite frankly I think I'm going to shoot myself if it doesn't get done soon...

Lurv y'all,
oh hey I got a shiny pic to share:


haha its great eh?

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Pro-Life

So i've found several fbook groups advocating "pro-choice" and "pro-abortion" stuff, personally I am definitely pro-life. Abortions are wrong, they should only be performed if the life of the mother is in grave danger or if the mother was a rape/incest victim.
Otherwise; you did have a choice, you chose to get into bed. Knowing full well that contraceptives are NOT 100% effective and there is still a chance of getting pregnant. If you weren't fully educated then what the hell were you doing having sex?
Women do have the choice, they can choose not to have sex until they are ready and willing to become a parent; why? Because you can get pregnant no matter how many precautions you take; its just the way life works. You get all freaked out because the government doesn't support your right to take the easy way out, gee that makes sense.

You can fight for the freedom to make your own decisions, I'm fighting for your right to take responsibility for them.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Red Letter News Day

Holy cow!

Somali Pirates hijack a Ukrainian freighter
Omg pirates with tanks! Thats fantastic... Obviously not particularly good for the dudes on the freighter though...

and there's more

Hurricane Kyle coming to Canada.
Dude, when was the last time Canada got a hurricane? More than 20 years ago! Its been awhile at the very least.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

resignation

So I guess I've realized that even though things aren't really going the way I'd hoped they would; I've just got to get over it. I need to focus on God, finishing senior year, getting my license, prepping for Costa Rica and a good job before uni. Pretty much in that order too.
I'm not letting myself get distracted by silly things that are out of my control like whether or not you even care anymore or why you won't talk to me. I can't let myself get caught up in that game again, I had the time on my hands before but I really don't right now.
Yes. Some things you do actually succeed. You wanted to go to school: you're there. You wanted to learn about the stuff you like doing: this is it. You wanted to succeed at school: you feel like you're faking it but its working. Everybody fakes it, if they're not faking they're arrogant and they're going to fail. You want a girl: she's going to come. God will bring her. You wanted to be closer to God: you're doing it, you're ridding yourself of distractions. I can't tell you anymore than that, I'm proud of you but obviously I can't really be a part of your life right now. That's okay. I need to focus on other stuff too.

I'm getting really excited for University, I think I want to go to Ottawa. Its just what I feel right now, so goodness knows that'll change again. But I think I want to go. U of Ottawa more specifically. I'll go to Carleton if they'll have me but I've fallen in love with UofO...

Woot, just finished watching Vantage Point; awesome movie! It was really cool, kind of like Macbeth in that nearly everyone dies but some of the good guys don't lol! Anywho, gotta go to bed. Night all!

Monday, September 22, 2008

WHAT THE HECK?????????

Now its both of them? What is this about!? What could I have possibly done to warrant this?! This is absolutely RETARDED. You are both so freaking juvenile, get lives and get off your high horses. Yes I know you both think you're better/faster/smarter/cooler/more experienced than the rest of the world but just a little FYI: you're both so unbelievably ignorant its actually laughable.

Go find somewhere new to be annoying and pathetic, we're done with you now.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead!

Well, just Rosencrantz... Guildenstern is fine...
Its sad though, I've had those fish for two years now... and Rosie died...
I'm kind of sad now. Not like break down and have a sobfest sad (I've never been the undyingly devoted pet person) but sad nonetheless.
Maybe he went to fish heaven...

Saturday, September 20, 2008

1 am

Dude I so need a life that way I can actually be tired when 1 am rolls around and need to go to bed. Seriously... I am not even tired. Not a little, eensy weensy bit.
This blows.


Ah well, talk to yàll later!

Check Yes Juliet - We the Kings

I dunno... its such a hopeful song... Like there's something to look forward to at the end of the tunnel.
"Run baby run, don't ever look back. They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance
...
Run baby run, whatever will be. You and me, forever"

Its like an all or nothing, you and me against the world kind of thing. I love songs like this for some reason...

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

alto soprano tenor bass friggin tone recognition

So i had my placement test for choir today... My tone recognition sucks but the sound was good so i think I did alright.

And i love my dance group, we're all pretty strong dancers and we got some choreography done today so that was good.

Work was alright today, i made a tip but I can't remember where i put it lol... It helps when you hold on to those...

Life is good. School is good. Work is good. I'm a happy camper...

Sunday, September 14, 2008

egyptian boy

ahahahahahaha this is awesome stupidly funny. The laptop bit is the best, wait for that.

i got new shoes too!!!

creator - santogold

fun song.

woot i love Tea! Its just one of life's elixirs. Coffee = blech. Tea = <3

Friday, September 12, 2008

dis be silly

Ugh! Why do I care so much?! What did I do?! Where did I go wrong?! Who do you think you are?! When is this stupidity going to end?! (dude i got all 5 W's in! Thats talent right there)

I am dead serious. What gives you the right to treat people like that? Its ridiculous. I. Hate. It. I hate myself for putting up with it. I hate that I'm so insecure that I won't just say "screw you, come back when you know how to treat another human being" because I'm worried that you won't come back. What did I do to push you away? Why are you pushing me away now? I don't understand... and the sad part is. You'll probly know this is about you if you read it. And you either won't care or will be mildly disturbed at how deeply I feel about this.

No, I'm not getting overly attached; for the other people who will read this. In fact, I think I've been okay and not getting freakishly attached... rejection stings though.

Anyways, gots to go. Love you all!
Zhen

Thursday, September 11, 2008

imagining a future with whirled peas

So i've been thinking a lot lately (again, never a good sign) and I've realized that... while there are a few people that I do trust, i don't really have a bona fide venterator*. i have people that would like it if I told them all that stuff but I don't necessarily want to and I have people that I want to tell but who could care less. And yes, this is in fact a pity party table for one but this is my blog so if you don't like it: go away :p

lol anyways, I'm meeting with the uber-cool, super-conservative, very good to know if I'm planning to do anything with politics guy on thursday next week which is very anticipatory-feelings-inducing.

So my aunt told me about this blog and I actually really like it. She reminds me of me (minus the witty repartee cuz I'm not so good at that typing) in that she actually types out all the weird, conglomerated, wacked out stuff going through her head despite the fact that it takes several random twists and turns and flat out snooty-whippers and it comes out pretty funny. To me at least, but i have a pretty freaky sense of humour (gee thanks mom and dad :P)
Whereas I usually just take the scenic route of my thoughts, you know; sans potholes and u-turns and other not-so-pleasant driving experiences. Rather than subject my few and faithful readers to the true gore that is the inner workings of my head.

Lol that was waaaaaay longer than I originally out for it to be but hey, once you get a good thought, or at least one that might possibly be worth pursuing you just gotta go with it.

Cheerio!

*person that i can comfortably vent to with minimal "um okay..." moments where I feel terrible that I dared to mention my personal life hoping that this person might care*

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

burning discs

there aren't words to describe how much I hate my computer right now. and subsequently my dance teacher.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

so... just shooting in the dark here

Because you've been pretty distant lately, I'm going to assume that either you're done talking to me for now or you're still in your "distant from everyone cuz I'm figuring out my life" phase. At any rate, keep me posted lol.

Work was fabulous, JJ ran out and bought us Arby's and I made tips and it was fun. I love working there.

I'm sick. Of course. That's just perfect. Blech. i feel like death warmed up.

And I'm thinking of moving my bedroom to the basement cuz... its bigger. And colder. And funner lol. Anywho, gots to go.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

just dance

woot found a ride (thank goodness). Its gonna be fun!!

So futuristic stuff: take a year off to work then go to uni. Only problems with that are A: where do i work for that year (full time) and B: where do i go to uni after that? I know what program I'm going to study and whatnot but I've got to decide where I want to go. There's 4 universities that i'm going to apply to but I guess its just whichever one accepts me that I go to...

Saturday, September 06, 2008

death race

saw it. funny. gory (a bit). profane. gross. awesome. hilarious. gotta love it.

It was fun, before that we did worship practice, that was awesome! I learned some new songs and loved every minute of it. It was fun.

Soooo I have no idea how the heck I'm getting to work on sunday... I need a ride from the church picnic to work for 5:30... good luck with that sparky. Its not going to work very well. Ah well I'll figure it out later.

So yeah, liking school, my legs REALLY hurt from dance though. i guess I should stretch (a lot) over Christmas break so i don't have to go through this again cuz its just silly. My ligaments and hamstrings feel like they're going to fall off and shrivel up. its painful.

i've decided not to text in class at all anymore. Between classes, before and after school, lunch: that's fine. But in class? Not anymore.

Anyways, i gotta go to bed. its late and I'm sleepy.
Talk to y'all later

Thursday, September 04, 2008

grad rings

They're so pretty, and freaking expensive too lol.
But i'm really liking some of them, I'm actually quite excited.

So yeah, thinking about the future (dun dun duuuuunnnnnn) which is always fun. Procrastinating a little but I already know where i want to apply and what I want to apply for. I just gotta figure out if uni right after (or at least a year after) grad is the option I want. Its difficult...

So yeah.. I'm seeing the guy i like at school everyday again. which is cool. and stupid. and annoying... I love being young and silly. its awesome.

Got into a fight with a good friend the other day. That kind of sucked... There's a lot going through my mind right now... but i can't really write about it cuz other people read this lol.

It feels like there's something missing with the grad class gone... They were just awesome at everything and it feels like really big shoes to try and fill...

So I'm bored... really bored. i finished the book i was reading today... Which sucks cuz now I have nothing to read.

I'm excited for the election to be called, i want to volunteer for a running MP so i can see what a real campaign is like. That'd be awesome.

People will really surprise you if you pay attention. Its interesting...

Anywho, I'll stop boring you guys. TTYL!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

laptop murder

We were having some issues but we've mostly resolved them. Yes we. I've decided to name my laptop Calypso. Why? Because most people don't know the story behind it (like my fish's names Rosencrantz and Guildenstern) and it sounds cool. Plus I don't think I'd be able to name my kid that cuz they'd think she was a demon child. And you just don't name a boy Calypso.

So Calypso and I have been having a fun time of it. Just chillin. Getting to know each other. learning each others quirks and annoyances. I'm very understanding and she is getting better too. We'll work this out, we don't need gossip and people throwing kindling on the fire so just give us our space. We'll be fine.

So yeah, went white water rafting yesterday. It was pretty fabulous. I went swimming. Intentionally of course, the rafter dude told us to get out and swim if we wanted to. It was pretty cool, we went over a Level 5 (there are 6 levels) rapid, which was fricken wicked awesome. And I talked to my dad's uber-cool, ultra conservative, knows-anyone-and-everyone-in-the-conservative-albertan-politics-secne friend and he's gonna put me in touch with another super cool, good to know for politics guy. So that could be cool.

Well i'm off to the races

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

its a bird, its a plane

nope its caitie's new laptop!!!
its shiny and pretty and makes me happy. i'll post pics later

Monday, August 25, 2008

teehee boredd

Name: Caitrin
Date of Birth: August 27
Birthplace: here
Current Location: still here lol
Eye Color: blue
Hair Color: dark blonde
Height: 5’7
Heritage: Danish, Scottish
Piercings: 4
Tattoos: None.

Favorite

Band/Singer: I like everything
Song: everything
Movie: too many
Disney Movie: aladdin
TV show: Gilmore girls
Color: blue & yellow
Food: I’m not picky
Pizza topping: yum pizza
Ice-Cream Flavor: … everything
Drink (alcoholic): baileys hot chocolate or champagne
Soda: diet pepsi
Store: ………… none?
Clothing Brand: None
Shoe Brand: none
Season: fall
Month: august!
Holiday/Festival: christmas
Flower: birds of paradise or orchids
Board game: monopoly or murder mystery
This or That : defs this
Sunny or rainy: sunny
Chocolate or vanilla: both!
Fruit or veggie: Fruits
Night or day: twilight
Sour or sweet: pork chops!
Love or money: Love
Phone or in person: In person
Looks or personality: Personality
Coffee or tea: tea gotta love it
Hot or cold: Cold

Your

Goal for this year: save to my goal, finish senior year
Best physical feature: I dunno
First thought waking up: mmm I love waking up in my own bed >_<
Hypothetical personality disorder: ADHD
Preferred type of plastic surgery: ew um I’ve never thought about it
Sesame street alter ego: bert or oscar. Maybe cookie monster
Fairytale alter ego: jasmine or ariel
Most stupid remark: ahahaha if only the modern mathematical principle could accommodate such a figure
Worst crime: being selfish, at the undeniable pain and expense of the people I love
Greatest ambition: damn I should really think about that huh?
Greatest fear: I dunno… rejection maybe?
Darkest secret: dunno
Favorite subject: social and dance
Strangest received gift: … hmmm… I dunno. I’m pretty lucky with gifts
Worst habit: I talk constantly and I’m so easily distracted

Do You:
Smoke: Nope
Drink: not very often
Curse: more than I should
Shower daily: usually every other day
Like thunderstorms: woot
Dance in the rain: absolutely
Sing: Yes.
Play an instrument: not very well
Get along with your parents: most days.
Wish on stars: not usually
Believe in fate: Always.
Believe in love at first sight: no, infatuation at first site? Yes.

Can You:
Drive: not legally lol
Sew: mmhmm
Cook: a little
Speak another language: enough to get around (espanol)
Dance:Yes.
Sing: Yes.
Touch your nose with your tongue: close
Whistle: Yup.
Curl your tongue: yess

Have You Ever:
Been Drunk: no
Been Stoned/High: No.
Eaten Sushi: Yummy
Been in Love: no
Skipped school: no
Made prank calls: yes
Sent someone a love letter: yuck
Stolen something: not intentionally… maybe.
Cried yourself to sleep: nope

Other Questions:
What annoys you most in a person? Hmm… having no opinion.
Are you right or left handed? Leftie woooot
What is your bedtime? When I’m tired
Name three things you can't live without: family, friends, music
What is the color of your room? Well the wall is beige but everything else on there is colourful
Do you have any siblings? Yep
Do you have any pets? Yes.
Would you kill someone you hate for a million dollars? Naw
What is you middle name? Lane
What are you nicknames? Caitie, K-train, Bird
Are you for or against gay marriage? I respect the love homosexuals have for each other, but marriage is an institution reserved for one man and one woman.
What are your thoughts on abortion? WWJD
Do you have a crush on anyone? Not rly
Are you afraid of the dark? Not rly
How do you want to die? Being shot or drowning
What is the largest amount of popsicles that you have eaten on one day? Two or three
Would you take a bullet for the one you love? In a heart beat

my own bed...

I like it, I haven't really been able to sleep in it for like a week... stupid hotel beds.
Anywho, getting ready for my birthday! Which is the day after tomorrow!!! and the party which is the day after that! Ugh I gotta go text/fbook people now and figure out who else is coming because people are friggin SLOW at RSVPing... losers.

And I'm registering for school soon, which is exciting! I'm so stoked for senior year! Its gonna be a blast...

Sunday, August 24, 2008

whip cream...

its a great substance lol; revenge, desserts, food fights, baileys/hot chocolate, and best of all: pissing off the bartender haha.

anywho, work was fabulous, people singing and dancing and laughing. And a friend came (he didn't know I work there) that I went to camp with last year so it was cool seeing him again. Its good times...

Friday, August 22, 2008

Wishes

I wish you cared, but its okay. Its not your fault, its mine for trying to believe anything else.

I need a break anyways.

home sweet home

So on wednesday we went to the university of ottawa (GORGEOUS CAMPUS!!) and after quite a lot of floundering and trying to figure out where the heck I was going; I got to talk to a faculty lady named Anne. Anne told me... a lot. But she explained the program I wanted to get in to, she explained a bit about the co-op program and she explained about the internships in other countries.
Then I went and looked at campus housing (always a trepidacious experience) which was nice and I think I like uOttawa better than Carleton.

And then mom and I went a little crazy in the campus bookstores, I got a sweater, a shirt and a mug from uOttawa and a sweater, a pair of shorts, a pair of capris and a water bottle from Carleton. It was fun :p.

So I bought Twilight on Monday, finished it on Tuesday. Bought New Moon on Wednesday, finished it Wednesday night. Bought Eclipse on Thursday, finished it Thursday night. Keep in mind that the size of these books ranges between 500-600 pages... I was slightly obsessed lol. And now I have to get Breaking Dawn, or wait until my birthday... one or the other lol.

Speaking of birthday!!! I'm turning 16 in 5 days!!!!! Except technically only 4 cuz i'll stay up until 12:13am(my time of birth lol) on Tuesday night.

Okey dokey well I have to go get packed for the wedding tomorrow (I bought a pretty dress for it and everything!) so ttyl!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Twilight

Bought it. Finished it next day. Loved it. Have to buy next one. Very excited. Can't wait for movie.

Haha, R got me hooked on these and now; like the rest of the world; I can't stop.

television

Okay I have to say; TV SUCKS. Maybe its just cuz its summer or something but I'm serious, all we've been able to find is Olympics stuff and stupid reality shows I've never even heard of (one of them was about a dog trainer). Omfg, have people fallen so far in their expectations of good entertainment? Yes there are good shows out there, but you can buy and rent the seasons after they're released! Its the magic of movie stores. I'm so glad we don't have tv... i think I'd shoot myself if I had to resort to that to keep me entertained...

Anywho, going to another University campus today! WOOOOT can't wait. It should be fun stuff. I'm gonna meet with faculty peoples and get food and take a campus tour. Its good times.

Well got to go, ttyl!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

whoa

time out.
I had no idea.
this is weird.
Okay...well, in light of that.
I'm keeping my distance, I'm sorry for being such a pain. I will keep to myself for awhile and let you figure out what you're doing and when you're ready to be friends again, or when you're with her (and therefore we can't rly talk) then I'll know... whats going on... okay. well. um. have fun, and i hope that you find what you're looking for and that she loves you too.
I'm only here as a friend, know that.

Monday, August 18, 2008

chillin in the capital

Started with Plane ride 1
I get on almost last (don't ask why) and I'm in the window seat so i got two guys to my right. One is a nice kid; from Trinidad, younger than me, nice, he's cool. The dude next to him is this 18 year old from NFLD who already has a beer belly and was completely and totally inebriated ( this is a 3 1/2hr flight, it doesn't wear off).
How did Nicolas (trinnie kid) and I know he was drunk? He reeked of it, slurred his speech almost beyond intelligibility and kept forgetting what he said before and repeating himself. He got a great kick out of the fact that i knew he was born and raised in Fort McMurray; how did I know? he told us 4 minutes before and he'd already forgotten.
So after the plane gets into the air, buddy is done like dinner; he's completely conked. Unfortunately for Nicolas though, buddy likes to spppprrrrreeeeeaaaaddd out when he sleeps... Suffice to say a good portion of our flying time was spent shoving him off of us.
Nick was cool though, we listened to my iPod, I asked him about Toronto (where he lives) and he ridiculed my music (little punk).

Then on Plane ride 2, i sleep the whole duration.

We land. We take the bus to down town ottawa. Check into hotel. Visit Carleton University. Chat with lady I know. eat. Leave.

Then we went on a long forray in search of food ending at an Irish pub (of which there seem to be an abundance of in Ottawa) and then we went shopping.
WOOT, i got new clothes!

SO yeah... now we're just chillin... anywho, not that y'all cared but that's okay.

Love you! Bye now!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

woooooot

fabulous weekend thusfar, went to the batting cage and got massive blisters. But I actually hit the ball a few times so its all good
went to J's goodbye party; stayed out til 2am lol, it was fun though, we went to BPs and ate and talked and stuff.
Today I went to M and As after church and they pulled out the guitars so some of us just started singing and it was a blast. I haven't sung like that in awhile, my chords are shot lol.
But maria gave me food cuz I had to leave early so it was a lot of fun, I wish I didn't have to leave.
And i'm not going to see everybody again until Sunday next week cuz I'm going to ottawa tonight (WOOOOT).
Well I hope work is good, maybe some friends will stop by...
Anywho gotta finish packing, love y'all!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

200 posts!

Ladies and gents, I am fabulous. Lol, it took me quite awhile to get here but I did... thanks to the support of the media, stupid news stories and life itself. All of which just couldn't go by uncommented on.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

walkin on sunshine

Cool I didn't even know there was such a thing...

Wonderful something else to worry about...

Sounds like the Georgians are screwed. BTW did anyone know there was a country called Georgia? I sure didn't...
We're such a peaceful, loving world. Lets just bring back the hippies, they liked everyone. Except The Man.
But seriously, this is pretty terrible, by the sounds of it Georgia didn't really do anything... maybe Russia's just bored.

I'd see it

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

sooooo

Just finished typing up my financial proposal... Its actually pretty exciting, all made up numbers of course seeing as I don't really have a crystal ball on me but its realistic and I'm pretty psyched.
Plus I've been on the phone to universities all morning making plans for mine and mom's trip to Ottawa (cue happy dance) so i can go in and meet various faculty members and take campus tours and stuff like that.

Friday, August 08, 2008

sheer stupidity

for those of you who don't care, whatevs; you like me have better things to think about.

Unfortunately there are still people that need something to asphyxiate upon so this is for you:

I am not dating anyone.
I am not planning on dating anyone right now.
There is no one in particular that I could be dating.

Please stop asking us, the answer hasn't changed and if it has; its still not your business but you'll probably find out anyway.

gracias y adios

Thursday, August 07, 2008

boooooooored

Can you answer 51 questions about two people ?


Don’t change the friends half way through.

1) What’s their name?
a) Timothy
b) Jessica

2) Does he/she have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
a) Nope.
b) not rly

3) Do you get a long with this person all the time?
a) yes but we fight a lot
b) defs

4) How old is the person?
a) 18
b) 17

5) Has he/she ever cooked for you?
a) No
b) probly

6) Is this person older than you?
a) yeah
b) yeah

7) Have you ever kissed this person?
a) no
b) yes

10) Are you really close to him/her?
a) yes
b) getting there again

11) Nickname?
a) ...timmy?
b) babe

12.) Do they have a nickname for you?
a) k-train?
b) cant remember...

13) How many times do you talk to this person in a week?
a) almost everyday
b) few times a week

14) Do you think they will repost this?
a) probly not
b) maybe

16) Why is this person your #1?
a) we've been thru some stupid stuff together but we're close and we've stuck thru it. I don't think we'll grow apart for awhile yet
b) we just click, she's the yin to my yang and we just work together

17) How long have you known this person?
a) 2.5 years
b) ditto

19) Have you ever been to the mall with this person?
a) yeppers
b) mmhmm

20) Have you ever had a sleepover with this person?
a) yes
b) yeah

21) If you ever moved away would you miss this person?
a) yeah
b) hells yes

23) Have you ever done something really stupid or illegal with this person?
a) oh i'm sure that day will come
b) probly

24) Do you know everything about this person?
a) close, but no not everything :p
b) I know lots, not everything

25) Would you date this person’s siblings?
a) um no
b) if she had a hot one maybe

26) Have you ever made something with this person?
a) yeah
b) yes

29) Have you gone skinny dippng with this person?
a) haha no
b) not quite

31) Is your #1 on drugs?
a) no
b) if she is i'll kick her ass

33) Have you ever worn this person’s clothes?
a) don't think so
b) yeah

34) Does this person wear your clothes
a) ... no
b) haha we tried

35) If it was “freaky friday” would you switch bodies with this person?
a) weird but fun
b) hells yes

36) Have you ever heard this person sing?
a) mmhmm
b) i'd have to be living under a rock not to hear her sing

38) Do you and this person have a saying?
a) yeah
b) oh I'm sure we have several...

Do you know this persons Facebook password?
a) used to
b) maybe...

41) Have you and this person ever gotten into a fight that lasted more than 2 months?
a) naw, they last a few days max
b) no way

44.) Have you and this person gone clubbing?
a) i wish haha that'd be fun
b) not yet

45) Do you know how to make this person feel happy?
a) yes
b) doesn't take much

46) Do you and this person talk alot?
a) yeah
b) when we can

47) Do you like this person?
a) mmhmm
b) for life

48) Has this person yelled at you?
a) yep
b) don't think so

49) Have you and this person got into a fist fight?
a) close :p
b) nope

50) Do you want to go out with this person?
a) not now
b) it'd sure be fun but no

51) Do you want to be friends with them forever?
a) pshyeah
b) of course

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

random news tidbits

cuz thats only slightly random...

is is really too much to ask for this guy to be done playing politics? Can we just put him in jail for life or something? I'm not asking for capital punishment although there's probly a good chance he deserves it but hey, so do the rest of us so can he just go to jail for awhile so we don't have to hear about him?

*gasp* I bet its those Eskimos melting the ice with their blowdryers!

As weird as this sounds she actually sounds kind of intelligent when she's talking about the policies and stuff. Not when she's saying stuff like "loves it" though...

Monday, August 04, 2008

scarred

kay, sexual humour can sometimes be funny but when the line is crossed, its just weird. Grow up people.This isn't just for one or two people either.

So my ankle is still really bugging me and its been like a week so I think I'll go in and get it x-rayed just so there isn't a stupid fracture or weird thing somewhere that I'm exacerbating by not getting it checked out.

Saw the Dark Knight yesterday, that was pretty funky. Fairly creepy and disturbing (the fact that he's now dead just makes Heath Ledger playing the Joker even creepier) but somewhat funny and entertaining. Saw it with J and R and E and T. good times...

Kay I'm really bored...................

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Mama Mía and 13 months and ottawa

So work was fabulous today, not too busy, not too dead. There were funny people working and it was just a good day in general. I was really happy and I had fun.
Then Mom picked me up and we decided (through some sort of shared periodic brain freeze moment) to go see Mama Mía... yeah... That's a bad movie. Don't get me wrong, the singing and songs are awesome, I loved the voice of one of the actresses. On the other hand, it was the cheesiest, most 70's devoted, glitteriest, weirdest, most gay movie EVER. I definitely would not see it again but it was a fun night with Mom.
So yeah, not gonna say what the 13 months is about cuz I'm a good person but it was pretty funny. Oh and hickies can be really dangerous things, at least if they're not in hard to see places cuz omg did one of the girls at work have a weird coloured neck this evening... :p
WOOOT Ottawa pretty soon! Its so exciting and trepidation inducing. I really want to get into this university and get out and do what I love to do but I have to pin point exactly what I love doing. I know it when I'm doing it but I gotta harness that into a life goal lol... Oh well. i'll figure it all out soon enough.

love y'all, ttyl!

Friday, August 01, 2008

birthdays and stupid computers and fonts and friggin emails

So i finalized my birthday invitee list with Mom and Dad today, I actually managed to keep a lot of people on there! I'm glad lol. Though I know there's probly a fair amount of people who won't be able to come, I'm inviting a lot of people so there'll still be a pretty big crowd. OMG I'm so excited!!

And my computer is so freaking retarded its amazing I don't smash it to pieces... Oh well.
I managed to get almost everyone's emails so I should be able to send out the invite tomorrow! WOOT! There's pretty colours (no just plain black is not fine, there has to be colour!) and funky stuffs on there. Its gonna be a blast.

hair cut and summer school and mini golf

I"M DONE SUMMER SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm only slightly excited about this though. Slightly...

Plus I'm getting my hair cut today, nothing dramatic, just tidying it up I guess lol.

I went mini golfing yesterday, that was pretty fun, Me and my fam and T and A. My dad kinda got mad at how T was driving but he got much better so its all good. Then I watched T and A hit golf balls as far and hard as they could which doesn't sound like that much fun, but it was. So yeah, basically I'm just working and sleeping and hanging with friends. Oh and studying cuz I gotta pass the stupid diploma :p yuck.

Kay well I gotta get ready to go so talk to y'all later!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

monroe's and parties and boys and strokes

Okay so I just finished my first "draft" of the birthday party invitee list. Its long. Very long. As in I've never had a friend list this long. And there's boys on it. There's never been boys on my party lists. Okay I haven't had a lot of parties but the ones I did have, weren't host to a lot of guys that weren't either related to me or practically family anyway. So yeah... parents have to "approve" the list anyway so there'll probably be less people than the 37 I have currently lol.

I've been thinking about getting a Monroe piercing (not now, when I'm 18) but the thing is they're so hardcore and extremely visible. I mean, I am not the super duper body mods girl, its just not my thing. i think some of them are very tastefully done and look gorgeous but most come off tacky and blech. i thought about a nose piercing for quite awhile but came to the sad realization that my nose would look wierd with a stud or anything through it really. Lip piercings could be fun but I don't want to look like a retard, I want it to be tasteful not in-your-face and gross...

And a cheery nightcapper here, my great-grandfather whom recently suffered a minor stroke and went to the hospital a few days ago, suffered another one during his angioplasty to fix the first one.

stupid ankle

Ugh my foot still hurts! How absolutely retarded is that?!

Well work was fantabulous yesterday, soooo much fun. I had a stupid overt sensitivity to light for awhile but it went away after a bit and so that was nice.
I had dinner with a friend I haven't seen in AGES so we talked and ate and whatnot for about and hour and he drove me home so that was funky.
And T and A came to eat! I was so excited, I love it when people I know come into the rez. Unfortunately I was informed by D not to bring them in public again until I've taught them how to tip properly but that's easily remedied :p haha

And it seems according to the news that our world is slowly and steadily going to hell in a hand basket so nothing new there lol.
Well I have a massive math project and a quiz and an exam to study for so ttyl!!!♥

Saturday, July 26, 2008

ankles, plays, ♦and music!

Just a little FYI for those of you who didn't know this already, reading and walking at the same time doesn't bode well for your chances of not spraining an ankle. not that I learned that lesson painfully or anything! NOOOOO not me.

Wooooooooot I get to go see Stage Right at the Fringe in Edmonton! I'm so excited, my friends wrote and directed it so now I get to see it! ♥

For those of you who don't have it, go download The Boys of Summer by Don Henley, and if you're not much for classic rock, DJ Sammy also has a version that sounds cool.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

woot bowling

Went bowling last night, that was... fun. Stressful but fun. I got into some trouble... let my mouth run off and got into trouble for it. Trouble I full well deserved but that didn't make it any more fun gotta say.
So yeah, my friend is a crazy driver, good, but crazy. It was fun, I like bowling, I fail at it but it was fun. And I got a slushie! it made me happy. ♠ oh funky, forgot that was on the

Monday, July 21, 2008

tidbit of restaurant know-stuff

For those of you who've ever asked yourself if the waiter/hostess will secretly hate you if you ask to switch tables for no discernably good reason: the answer is YES. Reason? Because aproximately 29 other tables have already asked to be moved for no particular good reason that day and they are tired of dealing with your pickiness. We will be understanding if there is a squalling child/loud party nearby or there's a strong draft and you're cold. But "i don't like the middle and the other one is too cramped" really start to piss us off especially if its all coming from the same customer. We put you at that table for a reason, we have to stagger them so none of the waiters are too busy or too empty. Just stay there for crying out loud!!! You're only there for an hour tops in most cases, suck it up and just be SOL.

Friday, July 18, 2008

sweety

you had no idea what you were getting yourself into w/him and now things aren't going so good. Not the smartest move, you are one for drama though and I respect that (only because I used to be lol). I wish you knew how much it hurts to be on the recieving end, I guess only experience will teach you that.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

hephalumps and woozles

omg, I had that as the title of a saved draft like way before but now it seems so much more appropriate rofl.
Man, there have been way too many inside jokes going on this past week or so from suffaluffagus to the virgin moose... oh dear...
So last night was pretty fun, I rented Hellboy and lemme tell you that was the stupidest, most difficult to rent movie I've ever seen, EVER. Then we watched it, it was fun. There was some creepy stuff in there but it was funny. Can't wait to see the Golden Army, this weekend or next weekend sometime. And I'm going camping with the reli's tomorrow! For two sleeps! Should be fabulous!!! Lol anyways, I gotta get to summer school.

Talk to y'all later!

Monday, July 14, 2008

just done

I am so peopled out. I've spent so much time this past week/weekend with people and I just need some time all to myself with nobody's demands on it and no one wanting something from me. I just need to relax.
If you want to talk to me tonight, call my cell but trust me I won't be talking back. I'll listen, but won't really be commenting lol.

So, looks like that whole "green shift" thing really screwed Dion royally huh?

blech

I'm sunburnt. Again. Bad trend. Oh well, it doesn't hurt nearly as much as the last one did rofl, I'm building up a tolerance.
Whoa sensory overload, blog much sparky?
WOOOOOOOT saw the passion play yesterday, it totally rocked. I'm so glad I got to go, and I got to go to the school!!! And meet some of the new kids!!! And I saw A and D and S and A(girl) and all the K's lol and T and K and yeah. It made me happy.
Blech, now I have to go to work... I like work I just hope its a lot busier than its been so far this week cuz that was DEADLY. BADNESS. LOTS OF BOREDOM.

Kay well I'm gonna go... ttyl

Friday, July 11, 2008

yuck

I feel so tired and I have a tummy ache. :( i's lonely. And sleepy. And J got fired so that blows. But mom and dad are coming home tomorrow. With presents! Lol excitingness.

So yeah, Stampede was fun, J (girl J this time) and I got food (no mini donuts tho :( sad) and then went on rides (♥the swings). and went thru the German house (woot!!!) and went thru the Rockstar house (slightly less that woot) and a then some more rides. I wasn't feeling too chipper after one of them so I watched J go on a few (and found her cute guys to go on them with) and we got food.
Then we saw one of the games dudes all wrapped up in a blanket but he still wasn't very cold so we gave him a hug and talked to him and his friend a bit. Good times
Zomg, kudos to Neill the carousel dude for putting up with us twice, that was so much fun lol.

Anywho, Mom and Dad are coming home today!!! (yes it took me two days to write this post...) Except that means I get to go clean house so they don't come back to absolute scariness which is what it looks like now lolz.

Cheerio folks!

Sunday, July 06, 2008

angry eyes

UGH the stupid iTunes I had to dl for my iTouch has screwed over my Limewire so now I have to re-install it.

I HATE APPLE

world

Ugh, Stephane Dion should be banned by constitutional law, from wearing a cowboy hat. Especially because he frequently criticizes us for our oil drilling and carbon emissions and all that garbage but mostly just cuz he looks like a retard... Buddy doesn't deserve to wear a cowboy hat.

Ugh, you have to go on vacate now? That means I get to PowerPoint it up for 4 sundays. This should be boring...

Kay well I gotta get to church guys, more later!

Saturday, July 05, 2008

I is sleepy...

holahold peoples

UPDATE
wow. I think I was tired.

blech its hot out

*looks at previous post* lol wow spaz much? Oh well, no it wasn't you. Well it was I guess, but it isn't your fault lol, I was just tired I guess.

So this is boring... Just chillin with the grandparents cuz mom and dad are Mexico-ing it up. Psh they suck... But I got my electronics cords lol so now I can charge everything again, thank goodness.

So yeah, trying to figure out when to go to Stampede, I wanna go Wednesday or Thursday cuz I don't work those days. Just can't figure out who to go with... This is such a pain too cuz everyone's going, they just don't have stupid schedules like me. and like half my friends are going to this camp thing this week which blows cuz it'll be so boring back here... Oh well. I'll ttyl!

Friday, July 04, 2008

Grrrrrrrrrrr

ARG I can`t even write what I want to write. This is retarded. i wish I knew how to act! I wish things could just be the way they were before. I hate this. I hate wanting it to be different. I hate that you could care less. I hate that I thought you cared. This is all so STUPID!!! But my itouch is purdy...

zomg

IZZO PRETTY!!!! I'll put pics up later, don't have time now. But its shiny and it has a purple case and I can use wi-fi with it and its awesome. Ugh I have to go to summer school soon... conics or something like that. :p
controlled relationship? its your parents. What exactly were you expecting?
anywho guys I gotta go, but I'll be back soon!

Mack

Thursday, July 03, 2008

OMFG

I HATE MY COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!! It just took me nearly an HOUR to dl these stupid updates so I can get my freaking Itunes dlded so I can put music on my Ipod!!!!!!!!!!!! *tears hair out* AAAAACCCCHHHH

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

blech

refreshing reminders of why I hate math so much are coming fast and furious now...

keys n calcs n stupid phrases

Why wouldn't I say that? Seriously...
and that was NOT making fun. It was good natured teasing. :p

omg I love my new keyboard, izzo pretty. Unfortunately my fingers still aren't really used to it so I can't quite type without looking at all like I used to.

So yeah, had my first day of summer school today, it was okay. I don't really know anyone up in the NE cuz I'm never there but I'm sitting next to S, a really nice girl from a close by town so that's cool. Wow, major blonde moments this morning; I forgot to put new batteries in my calculator so I had to borrow the teacher's and it turns out the cute pencils I bought just looked a lot like pencils and are actually pens :p whoops! But it was cool, it's not too hard yet but I have a whole shwack of homework which I should technically be doing right now. I'm gonna go do that lol talk to y'all later!

Mack

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

well that was weird

I don't make fun of you, I tease you. And never in a mean spirited way.

Wooot saw Wanted again yesterday lol, it is still a good movie. And J is home, what's weird is; I don't think we're gonna be that close now. We've been apart for too long and I kind of changed a lot and she didn't. It's weird... We'll still hang out, I just don't think we'll be super besties again. omg did I just use besties? I should disown myself....

Anywho, I get stat pay today! WOOT. Lol we were so freaking understaffed yesterday it was insane, I walked in at 5 and its not like retardedly busy; its just brisk. But I go to the back and see 3 waiters running around frantically (actually C wasn't running, he thinks he broke his toe) and no bartender and no bussers. It was CRAZY. Thankfully K and A showed up so we had another waitress and a bartender and eventually A showed up so we had a busser. Unexpectedly though, the owner came in to host, so I got my first bussing shift! Everyone was so helpful though, J and G both helped me and A set tables and bring out oil and vinegar so it was good.

Wow... that was a lot about work that none of you care about... lol oh well. Ttyl!

Mack

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Two Cows

I never realized how truly fantastic animals of the bovine variety were until this ahahahaha.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESSISM: You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallocentric, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of nonspecified gender.

SAUDIISM: You have two cows. Since milking the cow involves nipples, the government decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of a curtain and a guy milking the cow on the other side.

WIKIPEDIANISM: These cows are temporarily protected from milking. Please resolve disputes on the talk page. Protection is not intended to express support of German or Polish cows. (from Bill)

LIBERTARIANISM: Go away. What I do with my cows is none of your business.

SURREALISM: You have two aardvarks. The government paints one green and requires you to take harmonica lessons.

TALIBANISM: You have two cows. At first, the government makes them wear burkas, but later shoots them because "they are Hindu religious symbols."

UNITED NATIONISM: You have two cows. France vetoes you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. New Zealand abstains.

KUWAITISM: Upon hearing how popular cows are in the Gulf region, a group of young male Kuwaitis buy a herd. Unfortunately, they attach so many accessories (ski-racks, 3500 watt sub-woofers, nipple lights, etc.) that the cows almost collapse under the weight and/or embarrassment. The herd are all tragically killed in a massive pile-up while their owners are attempting to perform donuts by the Towers.

IRAQISM: The British Government sends in a herd of 20 cows in a trial run to help a village outside Basra. The villagers are extremely grateful for the extra milk and the health of the children improves daily. A terrorist group then kidnaps the cows and accuses them of being traitors to "the cause." The terrorists then produce signed confessions from the cows and systematically assassinates each one in front of Al Jazeera television cameras.

EGYPTIANISM: You have two cows. Both are voting for Moooooobarak!


good times...

well. this promises to be boring.

Home alone til tuesday. The fam went camping but I have to work and couldn't take the time off so here I am. Alone... Lol it won't be that bad actually I'll be with my grandparents and my aunt and working and buying stuff for summer school. Wanna have a party but no body's really up for short notice stuff like this. Ooo vell.
I has a pretty noooo keyboard and mouse! They's makin me happy even though my fingers have to get used to the keyboard.
Sooo yeah, I haven't really decided who I want to win the American elections. McCain is awesome, I think he'd rock the house but I think what America really needs is controlled change to fix it and Obama can do that. Lol just my two cents...

Mack

Thursday, June 26, 2008

yay!

All of us are done school!!! WOOT

I'm done gr 11, the short one is done gr 5 and mom is done her stupidly hard course thingy
*happy dance*

And I get to work tomorrow thank goodness, I've been soooo bored these past two days... I ♥ my job...

Anywho, getting geared up for summer (summer school :O) and camping (random hey? My fam never camps...) and having fun and working (yay) and stuff.

Plus I get an Ipod touch! *another happy dance*

kay well... this was rather pointless, just a lot of happy dancing but that's okay. I like happy dancing... Talk to y'all lata!!!

Monday, June 23, 2008

stuffs going on

Hindsight is 20/20 Foresight? Well maybe that's why he wears glasses... no offence to glasses wearers, I wear 'em too.

Man, that blows. Looks like beef prices are gonna take another hike.

I love Voltaire...

Well that's all the interesting stuff I found in NNW. Most of the rest was just other people talking about this stuff.

now to SM...

mack

Sunday, June 22, 2008

WOOT

Not gonna lie, I'm pretty excited for Stampede and I dunno if I'm even going lolz

Work was sooo much fun. Crazy busy for a bit (4 tables with 11-14 people each) but after it quieted down and people weren't quite so frazzled (awesome word) and discombobulated (another one) I talked to a few of them and it was fun. I got mercilessly teased for being 16 soon too cuz they're all 19 or older. But it was fun, I love my job ♥♥♥

Mack

Saturday, June 21, 2008

forever ruined...

Putting my realplayer on shuffle while writing really made me realize, all except like 2 of the songs I ever did choreography to are pretty much ruined in my mind. I just can't listen to them anymore cuz I heard them so many freaking times when learning and performing dances to them... Really a shame cuz some of them were good songs.

Friday, June 20, 2008

GO Karting

Omg so much fun guys, Love it. Lol scared some people... I'm a good driver. Or at least a fearless one... that might get me into trouble...

First time I really hung out with a friend mine. It was okay... I miss them. I miss our talks, we haven't talked in like a week, lol I know. Doesn't seem like that long but trust me it is. But they are happy, has a special someone, still flirts like crazy (like me :p) and yes I missed the times when we flirted but that's okay. We all had a blast, mini golf is always fun lol.

Okay we're thinking it was either a birthday or a bachelorette party cuz there was a chick wearing her bra on her butt... cute but weird.

Anywho, I get to work tonight! I haven't worked since last Sunday cuz I had exams and go-karting but I'm going tonight, should be fun!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Becoming Jane

I just watched it and am extraordinarily disapointed in the ending.

***SPOILER WARNING***

They don't marry! That is so depressing! There is supposed to be a happy ending! That does not cut it! Ugh screw historical accuracy, it makes for lousy entertainment...

Sunday, June 15, 2008

long day

But good, it was a nice day. My feet are gonna fall off from the heels I wore to work :p I'll have to think through that next time... lol
So yeah, first time I've seen him since the "falling out". Wasn't that bad, I miss him but we'll be okay. It was time for us, there may be something in the future but that's a really long way off so basically don't count on it lol. He aknowleged it though which was nice, I appreciated that.
I ♥ my job I just gotta say. THough the weird thing is everyone in that joint smokes! Jeez people do you really think it's glamorous or something? Its gross.
Plus there's a guy ;) of course.
I've got an essay tomorrow which pretty much blows but its in Social so I should be okay. After that I just have two multiple choice tests and I'm DONE!!!!! Done with Grade 11, done with the stress of this year, now I get to deal with the stress of Math 30 for the summer :( oh well. I'll be okay.
Next year, 16, grade 12, awesome job, getting drivers in december. Its gonna be a gooder lemme tell you that, I'm excited!
Well i should go get some beauty sleep for tomorrow though I don't think my stunning good looks will pull my mark up any :p.
Have a good night guys!

Mack

High School...gotta love it

wow. I think my friends broke some kind of record for how many break-ups can take place in one weekend. There's 1...2...3...4,5...and 6 but that was a few days ago. That's impressive...
Lotsa new single folks out there :p

Friday, June 13, 2008

I hope that "just fuck off" was not for me cuz the chat thing was a complete mistake, i didn't mean to open that.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

I wanna go to Egypt and see them in action...

zomg I just finished reading the most entertaining thing I've read all week. Okay maybe it wasn't that great but it kept me going for awhile.
Okey dokey so most of you probably have no idea who Sandmonkey or the Scene and Heard crew are but they're two blogs that've been having a cat fight for the past couple weeks and managed to drag Amy Mowafi into it. Anyways, here are some of the post involved:

One of the most frilly things I've ever read that is The Scene&Heard pretty stupid stuff but people love gossip (tabloids, duh)

SM's response to their existence

S&H's response in all their "aw shucks we're just innocent bystanders" tone lol. Which I guess they kind of are seeing as Sandmonkey started it but they're just really bad writers.

And then there's this which I definitely won't blame you if you can't get through because it is the longest post on the freaking planet but fairly entertaining if you've been following the whole "battle" going on. I did make it all the way through lol but unfortunately I had not been aware of the cat fight going on so I had to backtrack through all the other posts to figure out what all this was about. It's good once you do though.

The real gems in all of this are the comments! I read through almost all of the S&H comments and SM doesn't get as many so that doesn't take as long. I must say people take up a lot of time/space and energy with these posts and I skimmed a fair few of them mainly because I didn't feel like expending the brain cells to understand them lol but I loved Amy Mowafi's which were extraordinarily long but still entertaining.

Okay I'm done, you can go read something interesting now...
Anyone as tired of hearing about this guy as I am?

Monday, June 02, 2008

I'm feeling rather blue right now...

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Wow

Lol I wish I was better at this... There is one for me; I hope...

I'm glad

I'm glad I didn't come. I wouldn't have been able to handle that.
I'm so happy for you but... I wouldn't have been able to see that and still have a good time. I'm sorry.

Friday, May 02, 2008

omfg just shut up for once in your life, just take a moment and stfu. I don't undertstand why you're so moddy and everchanging, god you're a freaking hormonal basketcase!!! Just chill for a bit okay? is that too much to ask?

Thursday, May 01, 2008

wow. this is weird.
you were like a cornerstone in my childhood, the solid foundation I could always count on. ANd now you're... changed. Really different. I'm not sure I know who this person is, I want to get to know you but I can't... trust your judgement as much I guess. That sounds terrible but I can't. you've changed SO much. This is weird...

(new person)
You're really weird. I don't get you. I mean... you're under the impression that i like you (which I'm not sure that I do) and talk to me when you're on but when we're in person you just look at me and don't really say much. i know you notice me cuz I see you looking and you make comments when we talk online. I just can't figure it out.

I have honestly been seriously contemplating shaving my head for the Shave Your Lid for a Kid campaign in support of cancer research. Not sure if I will or not but I'm leaning towards doing it rather than not...

Sunday, March 23, 2008

news=depressing

Why is it that everytime I look at NNW or open a newspaper all I read about is the depressing stuff. None of the "woman survived drowning" or "hostage returns to joyous family" or stuff like that? Is it cuz the filters in my mind train me to look for bad stuff because humans just are that way or is the news actually getting worse at reporting good stuff? I'm not sure...

Saturday, March 22, 2008

The Afghans as usual demonstrating their displeasure in a calm, collected, reasonable manner. It takes talent and diplomacism but somehow they always pull it off with panache...

Thursday, March 20, 2008

I feel dead inside. I always do after I cry.
I have no more shoulders to cry on, I'm completely alone...

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side

This is exactly how if feel but minus the positive elements of the song that preach of joy and security and blind faith. I don't understand that. I don't know what happens next... all my friendships feel conditional. I can't really open up to anyone because I can't trust anyone. I've recieved so many bad vibes and cold shoulders for the past little while I have no where to turn.
I guess I'll just get by. Lol I probly sound like such a wuss on here... gosh who posts about the fact that they can't trust their friends on blogspot? That's just dumb...

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

anger.... GRRR!!! lol JK!

You know the song Teardrops on my Guitar by Taylor Swift? Well that applies to me... except its with two people. One of them knows me... pretty well. And another barely knows me at all... Its weird... W/E just thought I'd throw that out there. Well I have to go swimming EARLY tomorrow morning so I'm gonna go but maybe I'll be back soon, on the other hand I might wait a month again.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

My spiel on the five first headlines as follows:

Lafleur gets arrest warrant
Um, why did you drive your son to a hotel to spend the night with his girlfriend? At what point did that strike you as a good idea? And Lafleur JR., at what point did you think it was a good idea to go spend the night w/your girlfriend at a hotel considering the fact that you were given a curfew at YOUR DAD'S HOUSE? Wack job...

Abused prisoners in Kandahar
No comment.
This is where Kandahar is in Afghanistan.

For those of us a little more geographically challenged Afghanistan is here

Alberta Premier election coming up!
This is exciting, I think I might be able to vote in this one... GO PC's!

Greek Canadians want an apology from Harper
This is interesting, as far as I could tell Harper himself made the distinction that those two men were Greek and decided to bring it up. Not sure why... Anyone got any opinions?
I love this quote though
Mr. Harper's response drew howls of protest from the Opposition.

Thats funny, makes it sound like they had to be retrained...


Harper and Bush talk Afghanistan
Well its good that they're cooperating their efforts in order to maximize the benefit the soldiers can be of in Afghanistan. And according to this NATO is going to rally more troops. Snooty Europeans refusing to help in the most volatile provinces... wimps.

Mack

Thursday, January 24, 2008

meanderings of my thought life insightful as they are...

I honestly had no plan when I opened up this post, I just felt like writing. In all likelihood this will turn out to be some random post that nobody reads which is fine. Just thinking... about life... about the absurdity of it all. How it seems like our world is going to hell and there isn't a lot we can do about it. I feel so out of touch with God. I haven't really talked to him in awhile. I know I should but there doesn't seem to be much point, even when I did try and connect with Him on a regular basis it didn't make much difference. Or at least it didn't seem to... Call me a pessimist but its what I do best. That and sarcasm... I'm good at that too.
I don't know, maybe all this "future" talk is getting me depressed and philisophical. People dying, people going to rehab, people getting drunk to distract themselves from this pathetic thing we call reality. Quite frankly I don't envy them. I wish I was some wacko psych patient so I could pretend none of this exists and my fantasy land where I'm a queen over the Pygmies is whats actually happening. Who knows, maybe this whole life is just a dream and we're merely players doing what our marionet strings tell us to do. *smile* now I'm just waxing poetical philisophy. If thats a viable expression which it probably isn't. I'm really not this thoughtful and deep in real life I can just pull a good impressionistic act. Well I'm gonna go do something meaningless and contemplate why...

Caitie

Monday, January 21, 2008

Friday, January 18, 2008

Ugh. I hate the future. Hate it with a vehement passion. No no! I got a better one, I hate it with the white-hot passion of a thousand suns. Lol I heard that somewhere, can't remember where... Anyways, back to the future, thats a movie isn't it? Good movie too...
Okay so I've been thinking lately (wait for it: Oh dear... that never ends well) about what I want to do with my life. The pastor talked a few sundays ago about choosing the right profession and he quoted Pavarotti's dad when he said to Pavarotti that he had to choose otherwise he would get stuck between the two and be squished by them. Well that was the gist of it anyway... So yeah. Mom brought that up later and it got me thinking that I need to decide between the two otherwise I will get squished between them. I started thinking about International Law with big companies or the military or even advising government departments.
I don't even know anymore... well mom and I are going on a college/university tour at some point this year so that should be fun...

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

hmmm

well I'm slightly less panicked than last time I decided to write about my future but no less daunted. Right now I'm thinking that while University is likely going to be a part of my future, I'm not sure its going to be the first part. I know that travelling will definetely play a part in the future and acting of course. Beyond that... I'm a little lost still. Military has been kicked out, it may deside to come back in the future but I doubt it. So yeah, Mom and I want to do a college tour sometime after I graduate, I'm probably going to take a year off after I graduate though i might not... Man there are so many variables!!!! I'm not sure where I'm going to be living after grade 12, I'm not sure if the University I want to go to will be close to home so I can go when I'm 17. I'm not sure of anything... I know Germany is going to happen and once I finish paying for that I'm gonna start saving for a car!! Woot thats gonna be fun... Well yeah, just thought I'd throw this out into the ether... lol talk to y'all later!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Nineteen Minutes

I just read Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult, its a hard book to read in more than one way. Its difficult in that there are a lot of characters and flashbacks so it takes a bit to get into it and second because it deals with a lot of painful subjects, things i'd in general not like to think about but was forced to in order to understand the book. It was essentially about a school shooting, by one of the students. THe author explores the perspectives of killer himself, his parents, the kids who were shot, the lawyers/investigators/police involved in the case and a few others. I really enjoyed this book despite its uncomfortable content and things it drags up. It will make me think twice before making a rude comment to someone just because they're different or annoying.

Friday, January 04, 2008

The FUTURE. dun dun duhhhhhhhhhn....

Yeah I'm feeling slightly intimidated right now. I made a list of potential career opportunities and then took some career aptitude tests and omg I am sooooo lost. I mean there are so many things I could do! Obviously I want to act but I don't want to be some bimbo actress that knows how to do nothing else. I could do anthropological work or I could do something in IT like communications or what my dad does, I could become an advertising executive. Hell I could do absolutely ANYTHING! This is stupid and frustrating and tedious and scary. The aptitude tests weren't that much help because half of them I have to pay for in order to get the full results and stuff like that which is stupid, they have no right to hide my aptitude from me!
Mostly I've been thinking of acting as my ultimate goal because its what I love, no matter what phases I've gone through acting has always been there. More or less I'm looking for something that will get me adequate income and opportunities for travel and moving up. Mainly because acting isn't all that lucrative, its a competitive business and its always changing so if I can't make it there then I'm screwed because I have no fall back option, ergo the fall back option search. Man I want a crystal ball right nowl... jeez. How do some people figure this out?! Course I know I'll change complete careers around 5 times in my life so this isn't locking me in a gilded cage forever, its just what I will do for a couple of years. But university is a pretty formative part of my life and if I spend it studying the wrong things then who knows what I'll do.
I want to study anthropology which means I should go to a Christian university (CU) so I can get biblically sound teaching rather than all that evolution stuff they teach in secular universities. I also want to study acting but I'm not sure if a CU will help me if I choose to go into mainstream acting like television or movies or braodway or something like that. Would I be better served looking at an agency type place or a professional acting school where they teach practical skills? Theoretical knowledge has its importance but I do need practical application skills as well. Which I don't really have at this point. This is an abrupt stop but I will be back soon...

Mack