Likes

When you hit shuffle on your music and it just knows what you want to hear...

Lies

They're so easy to tell and lots of the time they're easy to maintain and hide. Really though, they just destroy trust so quickly...

I have a fantastic memory, I can recall random trivial facts or stories or anecdotes from years and years ago (unfortunately this doesn't stop me from forgetting my purse everywhere). So it's also really easy for me to catch people in their lies, I don't set out to purposefully do this. It just sort of happens because I'll hear them lie to me and I'll instantly remember something they said a few days or weeks earlier that completely contradicts that. While I usually don't mention them or make a big deal out of them when they happen, when that person has specifically lied to me about something it is really difficult for me to trust them again in that area... I hate it when people lie to me because it usually seems so pointless. I always end up being more upset that they lied to me about something than I would have been about whatever it was they were trying to hide.

Trust takes years to build and only a second to destroy... It's a cliche for a reason. It is really true!

Zhen

Being a unicorn

I think this whole "unicorn" thing is stemming from that episode of Glee where people celebrated being different by calling themselves unicorns... I've been feeling a lot like one lately.

I wish I was just like everyone else... I wish I thought sex before marriage was okay, I wish I thought drinking all the time was fun, I wish I thought making out with sweaty guys in a club and bringing them home with me was classy, I wish I thought slutty Halloween costumes were totally normal, I wish I was more fun.

I'm not though, I'm a boring, prudish, high standard having Christian. I'm not even a particularly good one at that. It's like I'm stuck in this "worst of both worlds" rut. I'm not fun enough for the secular kids and not pious enough to be a good Christian.

I tried making myself more fun. I tried drinking more, dating a non-Christian, spending more time with my secular friends and ignoring God completely but I just hated myself even more for abandoning my values. It's just not worth being liked by everyone if I hate myself for it... Not worth it.

I guess I could try swinging the other way, spending more time with God and less time trying to be like everyone else. I know that's just going to lead me to feel even more ostracized though, even more left out. Guess I'll just have to hope that God is there to help with that loneliness...

Zhen

12 hour school days

Well the past few days have certainly been busy... I've started to lose track of what day it is and they're all just blurring together so I only really remember particularly important events or situations and not really the date or time stamp involved. It's alarming but probably just a brain mechanism for coping because you hear people say it all the time when they're stressed.

A big breakthrough came in today though! I managed to ask a different professor in the faculty of a class I'm having difficulties with for help with an assignment, and the assignment due date got extended a full week! I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. :)

Been involved in one of my on-campus clubs... it's quite fun actually. Meeting new people, trying new things, learning fundraising ideas, padding my resume with volunteer hours. Good times!

Chatted with the ex today, things are going really well. So much of our dating relationship was based on a really strong friendship so it has been relatively straightforward stripping away the romantic part of it and going back to just being friends. Jealousy is still an issue, but that's not really a big surprise; it's only been a week after all. We'll both start seeing other people soon enough and we'll get over it.

The best discovery of today was the 5 cent candy section I found in the convenience store! Candy for the win as an essay writing aid...

So all in all, I'm getting by :)

Zhen

Professors who never check their email deserve... something bad to happen to them.

Capitalism is a beautiful, strange thing

So a lady who writes one of the blogs I read bought something from Dolly Python Vintage and she posted about it! Now this is kind of a strange lady who has a deep and abiding love for taxidermy and the lovely decorative pieces that this art produces so she buys some pretty wacked stuff. But this store is by FAR the most bizarre thing I've ever seen!! It's like the prop shop for an old horror movie... Anywho, they seem to be making money so whatever, the economy is being stimulated which is always a good thing.

they're just so pretty!

Making it through bookstores with my wallet still intact is usually not too difficult because I already have a mountain of books at home which are unread and dying for affection... However making it past the notebook section always proves to be obscenely will power testing...

New layout...

How do we feel about this? I feel like it needs more colour...

UPDATE
I've rectified the colour issue

Microwaves

One of the weirdest things I've noticed about university campuses (aside from the penile art and impromptu martial arts practice on a grassy knoll) is the distinct lack of microwaves!! On a massive campus space with thousands of students, I literally know of only 4 microwaves! it almost feels like spotting a rare bird in the wild when you find a new one. I experienced this just the other day. There I was; looking for a good study spot on the management building, and I spied a familiar white, boxy shape in the corner of my eye. There it was, all innocent and inconspicuous looking, in some back corner of the study area so only the determined would find it! I crept up to it, not wanting to be too loud in case I shattered the illusion. But some poking and prodding confirmed my beliefs, there was indeed a new microwave! And I had discovered it! This of course led to frantic texts to friends, a discovery of this magnitude just had to be shared! My friends quickly dropped whatever they were doing and rushed to join me, there were hugs and tears and champagne bottles popped. Twas a joyous occasion for all :)

loneliness

That's the worst part about being single now... The not knowing that there is always someone who loves you and wants to hear from you... I mean there's family and friends, but it's really not the same. I miss my ex...