Sunday, April 04, 2010

Litra-ture *said in snobby accent*

Wow, I've been thinking a lot about books lately and reading books and lots of stuff pertaining to books. I LOVE reading, I LOVE books, I LOVE well written books. They just make me happy! The way some people feel about their cat I feel about my books! I have my own full-size bookcase in my room just to house all the books I call my own!

So I've stumbled across a few problems; the first of which being that if and when I do have children (be they the fruit of my own loins or someone else's), I will not know if they love reading until 5ish... give or take a year or two. At that point they will be WAY too old to abandon! I'll have a firmly established attachment to them and they will be all the harder to dump on an orphanage/church's doorstep with a note!
Another problem, I will likely have accumulated such a vast collection of books by that point that bringing children into my home will be downright dangerous. They could be crushed by a falling bookcase or develop spinal injuries by sleeping on stacks of books because I have no room for their bed! How awful of a mother would I look if that happened?! Pretty freaking awful.
Furthermore, my children will have no time for formal education because they will be too busy reading all the books I read and loved when I was their age and therefore feel that they should read and love. Which means I'll have to homeschool them. Now my abundance of books will help at that point in teaching my children but with my having to buy more books to supplement their learning and NOT growing into PONTIs will just exacerbate the problem of it being a treacherous environment for a child!

So after careful weighing of the pros and cons, I've decided children will demand FAR too much of me and therefore should be avoided at all costs. Sorry imaginary rugrats, we had a good run but my professed adoration of the written word will trump you.

Zhen

3 comments:

silenceassound said...

Or you know, your kids could be like me and hate reading. Then all your books will go to waste.

Furthermore, we all know by the time we have children, books will be dead. Everyone will have a Kindle or iPad or something of the like. Thus making books better for burning, not reading.

silenceassound said...

Or you know, your kids could be like me and hate reading. Then all your books will go to waste.

Furthermore, we all know by the time we have children, books will be dead. Everyone will have a Kindle or iPad or something of the like. Thus making books better for burning, not reading.

Shawn M said...

You can't not look!!! A haa, your curiosity is mine!!!

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling