This is Why

This is why I don't bother coming up with ideas myself or trying to be a creative brainstormer. My ideas are shot down immediately with frightening regularity.

Frustrating Executives&Chambers&Second Day

I have a love/hate relationship with teams. I really do. They're frustrating and asinine and time consuming and incredibly fulfilling and relationship building and creativity enhancing and rewarding. They are made so much more difficult when they are poorly managed and there is a lack of communication flow.

I went to a local business chamber meeting today and I find it a bit fascinating. I think the opportunity to network with different business people would be extremely useful especially once I graduate and am looking for job opportunities. Only problem is Robert's Rules of Order... they are so damn time consuming!!!

Second day with slow-carb. I weighed in at 162lbs exactly, I'm not worried about weight fluctuations though, different times a day and different levels of water weight, etc... I'm really looking forward to the cheat day but I'm so frustrated by how hungry I still am! I can't force myself to eat more to the point where I don't feel well, but I also don't think I'm getting enough! Very frustrating...

Zhen

Measurements&Frustrating Management&Green Tea

First day in, lots of beans were had... I don't think I ate enough which is bad. I just couldn't figure out what to eat and when to eat it! I also don't have enough protein in the house (eg meat). Luckily I found some almonds when out shopping and didn't gorge myself on something.

I picked up a soft measuring tape and measured myself! Herein I have found my baseline! I also weighed myself but that's not really what matters to me, I'm tall and I plan to gain muscle so weight is all relative. The inches are what I'm more concerned about. We'll see how those start being affected.

So I'm on these teams for business case competitions. And this one team is just driving me NUTS. It's run by an executive of about 6 people and the lack of communication is so irritating. I have always taken care to note what managerial behaviors I find beneficial as an employee and those that irritate the snot out of me. The lack of communication on this team is becoming detrimental to my performance on it, which I find unacceptable. An email is not difficult to send, we do it all the time! It's so speedy!

I drank only water, green tea, and a diet pepsi today so I'm happy with that. The green tea actually wasn't awful. My past experiences have left me not enjoying green tea so much but I really did enjoy it this time so that's encouraging. I may also be feeling so-so today because I didn't remember to drink a ton of water. Staying hydrated is usually pretty paramount.

My muscles are unimpressed with me today, after climbing, stationary biking and kettle belling yesterday. The kettle bell swings really worked my back hard, all these weird pain spots in muscle groups I can't name is amusing.

also, I am quickly losing patience with online estimation tools! Two now that have told me that I'm obese. SO that's encouraging! One told me I have 36% body fat and the other one said my BMI is 25.1 which is above the healthy weight range. I'm leaning towards the opinion that I shouldn't put a ton of stock in the online tools because they have nothing to do with me as a person and are rather generations based on a set of numbers. At any rate, more awareness of my current status is better than none, right?

I better eat more tomorrow...

Zhen

Grocery Shopping&General Quotidien Quibbling&Nostalgia

Just completed THE healthiest grocery shopping trip I think I've ever made. Complete with beans, lentils, spinach, celery, tomatoes, turkey bacon, frozen veggies and eggs... We'll see how this goes.

I'm going to try (emphasis on the try) this different meal plan for the next week and a half or so. I'm not sure how it'll pan out, but I am interested in doing something new! Only downside is there is a tad more prep involved in the food I'm eating... so that sucks. But I have confidence in me!!

I'm trying this because (not for the first time) I am dissatisfied with my appearance. Not to the point of self hatred or anything ridiculous like that. I just have higher expectations and I know I can do better. I've read a lot of books and quotes and articles, etc lately that have made it abundantly clear to me that many people have reached middle age or even old age without getting in shape and they regretted it for a long time. I would rather learn from the mistakes of others than make redundant ones.

I mean geez. If you're going to make mistakes you might as well make vaguely original ones.

Anywho. Yeah. This is what I'm going for. I'm posting this here as a bit of an accountability tool... Hopefully it works as intended :)

In other news, school is going exceptionally well. I adore business classes and have become much closer with my classmates which is immeasurably valuable to me because I did not have as many friends in first and second year and I do feel as though I missed out.

I'm living with my best friend and two other roommates right now. The really tragic part is I actually see my best friend less now than I did when we didn't live together because this semester is just so insanely busy. Other than the lack of quality friend time; living together is actually really fantastic! Everyone said "oh noes! Living with your best friend! You're just setting yourself up for disaster!" which probably would've been more prophetic had it just been the two of us. Given that there are two others girls there though I think it really evens things out and makes it much more enjoyable. She's such a fantastic person and I love being able to just go downstairs and chat virtually whenever I want.

I remember being young(er) and thinking of my ideal future life and what I wanted it to look like. One of the big things that stuck out at me was that I really wanted to be busy, which sounds strange I know. After getting to know people and watching them live their lives and watching movies and wanting to emulate certain characteristics I realized that I wanted to be a busy person. Busy people (if they are doing things they enjoy) always seemed to be more energetic, motivated, productive, and interesting. Now this may sound ridiculous to most people, because lots of people are busy with things they don't enjoy or find stressful and think "man I could really use a vacation right now!". I, however, genuinely feel more happy and content when I have loads of shit to do! I don't like lackadaisical days filled with free time and one or two activities at all. I enjoy the days like today...

Today:
Group meeting from 9:30-11:30
Visiting with friends from 11:30-12:30
Working from 12:30-3:00
Studying with friends from 3:00-4:30
Class from 4:30-5:45
Brief group meeting from 5:45-6:15
Climbing from 6:30-8
General gym time from 8:00-8:40
Grocery shopping from 9:00-10:00
and now I'm home...

SO yeah. Good day :)

I think the intermittent friend visits make it all much better...

Alrighty, I need to study for Project Management.

Zhen

Night in with the Roomies

An evening spent painting nails and watching Gilmore Girls... a bit of an estrogen bomb I'll grant you. Sure was nice though :)

Self Diagnosis

Oh you like your things a certain way?
You MUST have OCD.

Oh you have trouble falling asleep sometimes?
You MUST have insomnia.

Oh you have trouble concentrating sometimes?
You MUST have ADHD.

STOP SELF DIAGNOSING.

Motivation

Motivating oneself to work out and eat healthier is definitely a challenge, it's one of the more common ones today as well. With obesity on the rise and our culture becoming increasingly obsessed with teeny tiny ladies as their template for beauty; women are more pressured than ever to be skinny. The neat thing is though for women who are looking to put some more muscle on their bodies (like me), and aren't just trying to starve themselves into looking like an emaciated starlet, there are LOADS of inspirational websites! Ones that talk about how important loving yourself is and that motivate you to work through the pain and sweat towards your end goal. They have motivating pictures and recipes for healthier foods and innumerable workout guides and all kinds of fun stuff. I am definitely a fan :) The internet can be used for good!

Zhen

Story Time!

So I have a friend, a best friend really, named Megan. Megan wrote a story today and decided to share it with me, something for which I am quite grateful because the story made me laugh and is quirkily charming just like its author. So for your enjoyment; here is the story!

Once upon a time there was a pink elephant named Buboo MacGilvary. He was very self conscious because of his unfortunate pink colour. All the other elephants would make fun of him because he was pink, and that was a girly colour. Then one day, he met another pink elephant named Nancy LeFou and they fell madly in love. They were married on a warm summer's night and 22 months later (the gestation of an elephant) they gave birth to a beautiful bouncing baby boy (who was actually more of a green colour so naturally Buboo assumed Nancy had cheated on him and their romance ended in a bitter divorce. The two were awarded joint custody by the courts) The End.

Cashed-up Bogans

I'm intrigued by this story about Australian miners. They're making really fantastic money as miners in these dusty little mine towns that are far away from civilization but they work hard and pull up valuable minerals and are rewarded. I feel like this is something the Occupy movement doesn't understand; these guys may not have dreamed of being miners growing up, but they did dream of having enough money to do and own the cool things that a lot of people don't have access to. They are reaping the rewards of labour and doing unglamorous jobs!

This quote stuck out at me...

Books and documentaries are coming out about this group, exploring the country's unease with the thought that conspicuous consumption by undereducated people is what is helping to keep the country afloat

The idea that there is "unease" with the thought of undereducated masses helping keep the country afloat with their copious spending is weird to me. Why does it matter who is spending? These are not undereducated people who are spending money they don't have and racking up credit cards and loans and lines of credit! They are spending real money that they actually earned.

I think the idea that a university degree is required by everyone is a silly one. Yes I am in university, but if I didn't have to have a degree for the job I want I wouldn't be here! These guys may not have higher level education but they are making huge contributions to society! They are cycling money back through the economy which creates income for businesses so they can grow and expand and create more jobs so their employees can also spend money.

It is awesome that these men aren't stuck in post secondary, creating more debt by living off of student loans and gaining no real life experience like so many of their peers. Look at the bright side people! It's a sunnier side to be!

Zhen

Tip

If you don't put the effort in to use proper spelling and grammar, the chances are markedly slimmer of me giving ANY credence to your argument.

Power of the Mind

The power of the human subconscious astounds me... I just love its ability to make connections between places and people and recognize patterns and make inferences.

Behold the power of your brains people! You have a lethal weapon and an incredible gift at your disposal...

Zhen

TOO MUCH WORK

FML these next few weeks are going to SUCK!
The pool I work at has reopened which is great because I missed it but it unfortunately means I have to start working. Regularly. Like every thursday and friday night teaching wee little chitlens how to swim, for 4 hours :( And teaching is fun! It totally is, my students are adorable and lots of fun and it definitely gives me a work out holding their heads out of the water everyday. But it is severely cutting into my study time... and that isn't cool. I'm so screwed for the next few weeks when it comes to grades.

Likes

When you hit shuffle on your music and it just knows what you want to hear...

Lies

They're so easy to tell and lots of the time they're easy to maintain and hide. Really though, they just destroy trust so quickly...

I have a fantastic memory, I can recall random trivial facts or stories or anecdotes from years and years ago (unfortunately this doesn't stop me from forgetting my purse everywhere). So it's also really easy for me to catch people in their lies, I don't set out to purposefully do this. It just sort of happens because I'll hear them lie to me and I'll instantly remember something they said a few days or weeks earlier that completely contradicts that. While I usually don't mention them or make a big deal out of them when they happen, when that person has specifically lied to me about something it is really difficult for me to trust them again in that area... I hate it when people lie to me because it usually seems so pointless. I always end up being more upset that they lied to me about something than I would have been about whatever it was they were trying to hide.

Trust takes years to build and only a second to destroy... It's a cliche for a reason. It is really true!

Zhen

Being a unicorn

I think this whole "unicorn" thing is stemming from that episode of Glee where people celebrated being different by calling themselves unicorns... I've been feeling a lot like one lately.

I wish I was just like everyone else... I wish I thought sex before marriage was okay, I wish I thought drinking all the time was fun, I wish I thought making out with sweaty guys in a club and bringing them home with me was classy, I wish I thought slutty Halloween costumes were totally normal, I wish I was more fun.

I'm not though, I'm a boring, prudish, high standard having Christian. I'm not even a particularly good one at that. It's like I'm stuck in this "worst of both worlds" rut. I'm not fun enough for the secular kids and not pious enough to be a good Christian.

I tried making myself more fun. I tried drinking more, dating a non-Christian, spending more time with my secular friends and ignoring God completely but I just hated myself even more for abandoning my values. It's just not worth being liked by everyone if I hate myself for it... Not worth it.

I guess I could try swinging the other way, spending more time with God and less time trying to be like everyone else. I know that's just going to lead me to feel even more ostracized though, even more left out. Guess I'll just have to hope that God is there to help with that loneliness...

Zhen

12 hour school days

Well the past few days have certainly been busy... I've started to lose track of what day it is and they're all just blurring together so I only really remember particularly important events or situations and not really the date or time stamp involved. It's alarming but probably just a brain mechanism for coping because you hear people say it all the time when they're stressed.

A big breakthrough came in today though! I managed to ask a different professor in the faculty of a class I'm having difficulties with for help with an assignment, and the assignment due date got extended a full week! I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. :)

Been involved in one of my on-campus clubs... it's quite fun actually. Meeting new people, trying new things, learning fundraising ideas, padding my resume with volunteer hours. Good times!

Chatted with the ex today, things are going really well. So much of our dating relationship was based on a really strong friendship so it has been relatively straightforward stripping away the romantic part of it and going back to just being friends. Jealousy is still an issue, but that's not really a big surprise; it's only been a week after all. We'll both start seeing other people soon enough and we'll get over it.

The best discovery of today was the 5 cent candy section I found in the convenience store! Candy for the win as an essay writing aid...

So all in all, I'm getting by :)

Zhen

Professors who never check their email deserve... something bad to happen to them.

Capitalism is a beautiful, strange thing

So a lady who writes one of the blogs I read bought something from Dolly Python Vintage and she posted about it! Now this is kind of a strange lady who has a deep and abiding love for taxidermy and the lovely decorative pieces that this art produces so she buys some pretty wacked stuff. But this store is by FAR the most bizarre thing I've ever seen!! It's like the prop shop for an old horror movie... Anywho, they seem to be making money so whatever, the economy is being stimulated which is always a good thing.

they're just so pretty!

Making it through bookstores with my wallet still intact is usually not too difficult because I already have a mountain of books at home which are unread and dying for affection... However making it past the notebook section always proves to be obscenely will power testing...

New layout...

How do we feel about this? I feel like it needs more colour...

UPDATE
I've rectified the colour issue